


Don't Leave Me

by whoms_account_be_this



Category: Degrassi
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, gay male author
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-07-14 09:39:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 36,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7165880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whoms_account_be_this/pseuds/whoms_account_be_this
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the crash, our favorite Degrassi students most come together to survive the pain of the unknown. Contains all characters relevant as of 2x10.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: This is a reaction fic. Instead of writing out tumblr theories about things, I'm going to explore it all through fanfic :) As such, it won't be a literary masterpiece, but a "write as I explore" story. I may go back and rewrite and organize things once finished!
> 
> I have no idea what the rating or themes of this will be yet. Have as much fun as I am!
> 
> Currently un-betated, and will constantly be edited as I write! I just wanted to get this out there so we can explore our thoughts on the finale together!

* * *

 

**Don't Leave Me I**

"This isn't happening," he heard one of the Degrassi volleyball players cry in a voice so shrill that normally it would have made him cringe with an ear splitting pain, but another pain filled his soul instead. Those words were the same things he was thinking.

_This isn't happening, this isn't happening_. Those thoughts raced through his name like fire that licked at the interior of his skull with something that was exactly the opposite of a fire's warmth. The gym was full of what felt like shouting for attention in the chaos, but he knew that most people could barely make their words audible through their fear.

He was pacing around in circles as thoughts went through his mind. Hunter and Frankie were alive and well so his primary duty was already accomplished. It was his heart's desire that was driving him wild. Tristan. Where was he? Every ounce of him willed that Tristan took a nap in the student council offices or whatever – Miles knew from intimate experience that the couch was comfortable enough for a nap – but logic took over. Tristan was on the bus. Tristan was not answering his phone. His love could very well be dead.

He shook his head as he felt the sweat drip from his forehead. Was it just fucking hot in here or was this his brain's way of crying. His eyes were heavy and stung with unspent tears, but he had to remain strong.

He saw Hunter on the bleachers holding Yael, and he forced a smile on his face that at least one of his family was not harmed directly by this disaster. Frankie was not as lucky as she was huddled in with her teammates. Miles vaguely remembered Jonah and Tiny being on the bus as well, though his thoughts were clouded the moment he saw Tristan's name on that list that confirmed the dread in his heart.

Miles lost track of time as the world and its inhabitants rotated around him like… a car spinning in a car accident. He fought the urge to fall to his knees and throw up. He didn't want to imagine the horrified moments of Tristan as whatever the hell happened to the bus sent it tumbling. He racked his mind for a moment to think of his other friends – Maya, Zig, hell he had some connection to all of the people on the bus. He felt weak and his body trembled to his very core.

He was shaken to awareness by Winston.

"Dude," he best friend said, concern written across his face. "Are you okay? Look, I'm sure they're alright. Zoë and I are going to head to the hospital. She's worried sick about Tristan and Grace."

"Yeah, yeah," Miles said with something of a nod as he tried to return his mind to his body. "I should too. I need to. I have to get Hunter and Frankie and…" he shook his head to stop his rambling. `

"I'll go grab Frankie for you… I want to make sure she's okay before I'm off anyway. Go get Hunter and we'll meet outside," Winston suggested. "I saw your car and parked near it."

Miles nodded blankly, but then a sudden spurt of energy took over as he pulled his oldest friend into a hug. "I'm glad you didn't take the bus today."

Winston nodded himself as he patted Miles' back awkwardly – their hugs were typically odd due to their height difference, but for once their hug wasn't a matter of kicks and giggles. "Same… I couldn't imagine what it would be like to lose you for real."

Miles' only answer was to tighten their hug as no words were needed.

* * *

"She's awake," she heard a voice say a little too loudly for her liking. Her body felt like a gigantic bruise and her head was splitting in a way that was not at all dissimilar from the worse hangover of her young life. She opened her eyes and slammed them shut at the bright light.

_"_ _Where am I?"_ she thought, as her brain tried to process all the whites and silvers around her. And why was there a siren? `

"Can you tell me your name?" the voice repeated.

"Maya. Maya Matlin," she said through the fog of her brain as she cracked her eyes open. "Where am I? I remember spinning and…"

"The bus you were on got into a terrible accident," the voice said. Maya's brain still pulsated with pain, but she could make out the voice now. A woman's. Her face was middle-aged, and her hair was a fading blonde. These details weren't really important to her.

"Accident?" Maya asked. It made sense, but _no no no_. That meant the fire from her dream was real. "Oh, no no," she muttered. "How long was I out? How is everyone else? All my friends were…"

"The accident happened about 25 minutes ago from all reports, Now stay still. You'll make your injuries worse," the nurse ordered. Or ambulance worker? Whatever those were called. Maya's brain still felt like mush, and only now did she realize she had been struggling.

"I'm sorry… I didn't… do you know anything about anyone else?"

"I'm sorry, dear. All I can tell you is that there have been no reported fatalities. You should count yourself lucky. You were one of the least injured. You have no visible injuries other than a broken wrist, though we'll want to check for internal injuries. A concussion would be the most likely cause of worry. Let me know if you feel any pain."

Maya shook her head, and slowly craned her neck to get a good look at her wrist. The right one was wrapped up. "I didn't even feel anything," she muttered.

Physical pain was the last of her concerns right now. The last thing she remembered was laughing at a joke of Tristan's as she and Grace shared a smile, and Zig sent her a look of surrender from across the aisle. Jonah was just about to add a silly and so not-funny joke that would have made her sides ache in a pleasant way if the world didn't go spinning around her.

She felt shame flush over her at the look of pity the nurse sent her as her chest shuddered with a sob. Physical pain was the last of her concerns. As long as she wasn't dead herself, her friends came first. Then a thought popped into her head.

"Wait, please. There was someone on the bus. Her name is Grace Cardinal. Long black hair, kind of goth. She has cystic fibrosis. Can you make sure that whoever has her knows? She had a complication last week…"

"I'll do my best."

Maya nodded faintly as she let the consciousness leave her.

* * *

Hunter let his lips find Yael's again as they sat and watched the quiet chaos around them. After the elation of finding one another alive and sealing whatever it is that they had with a kiss, they had sat on the bleachers in near-silence as they watched everyone running around frantically. They spoke only to express how happy they were to be safe with one another, and of guilt and worry that they weren't directly affected by the crash. He couldn't shake why he felt like he should care more.

Kissing was nice. He didn't know what to expect, and he hardly expected himself to be the most sexual of people, but it was nice. As a bonus, no more would he be the butt of his sibling's jokes about not kissing anyone. He pulled his lips away from Yael's and looked around the gym to check on his siblings – to make sure that they were alive and not a dream that he had imagined to feel safe.

Frankie was crying with all the other girls on her team, and Miles was on his way over… Hunter's heart turned upside down in his chest as he realized. His siblings may very well have lost someone they cared about, and he should comfort them through whatever they were feeling like they comforted him these last few months.

He looked up to Miles' expectantly as he approached. "Are you okay?" Hunter asked. "Is there any news on Tristan?" he looked over to Frankie. "And Jonah?"

"No, nothing," Miles muttered. "I'm going to the hospital. Do you want to come or can you get a ride home some other way."

"I want to come," Hunter said. A spark shot up his arm as Yael wrapped her hands around his bicep. "I want to be there for the two of you. Can uh… Yael come?"

"Sure, sounds great," Miles said numbly. "At least one of us had a happy ending."

Hunter nodded slowly, not sure what to say. He was bad at this, but it was his turn to be there for Miles. Not even an hour ago Miles had told him that Tristan was the person who made him feel happy and loved – that Tristan was the one who had faith in him.

Hunter knew that he may not understand in the way that most people would, and he didn't care, but he knew that he would be there for Miles. It was only fair after everything his older brother had done for him; it went beyond that though. It even eclipsed the fact that Miles was his anchor of goodness. He loved his siblings, and it was time to show them that even if the rest of the world never forgave him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy! I'm writing POVs as they come to me. They will mostly be in chronological order. I will be writing many different character POVs about many things, but ultimately, there will be primary points of view. Miles, Hunter, Maya and Frankie seem to be grabbing most of my attention, though there will be tons more! As I said, I'll make this into a real fic later on. As for now, it's just scenes that pop into my head as everyone struggles - I feel there is a magic in that though!
> 
> Let me know any particular scenes you want to see, and I'll see what I can do. I won't guarantee anything, but I will do my best to have all bases covered.

 

**Don't Leave Me II**

Today was not the day she had exacted. She expected that she might get some flak from the other volleyball team for her past behavior, but she was prepared for and accepting of that. But having half the people she knew in a massive accident was the least of her expectations as she crawled out of bed this morning.

"He's okay, I know he is," Lola kept muttering into their tear-ridden group hug. "Oh, and Jonah too."

Frankie nodded with tears of her own flowing down her face. She was glad more than anything that the three of them had made up; she knew she wouldn't be standing on her own two feet now without her best gal pals. Her only solace was that her brothers were both alright. Guilt filled her as she knew that Miles would attempt to comfort her despite his own struggle…

She shook her head, and disengaged from the group. Jonah would be okay; he wasn't the type to get hurt. She tried to imagine a world in which Jonah died from the accident and she couldn't. It was strange really. She wouldn't have thought much of Jonah when she first met him – kind of an ass really – but he was nice and caring and she knew, somehow, that he was as sturdy as a brick wall.

He would be fine so she forced herself to focus on other things. People were always telling her she was self-absorbed, so now it was time to focus on others. She had done everything that she could to help Lola and Shay. They were strong in their own ways; certainly stronger than her. They would pull together over their mutual love for Tiny, and come out stronger for it.

She put something of a smile on her face and turned towards where she last saw Hunter. She wasn't surprised to find Miles with him. He was always taking on other's problems as his own, and she knew that Miles was adamant about making sure nothing triggered their little brother – twin or no, Hunter was definitely their shared little brother.

As she slipped out of the packed cluster of her team, Winston caught her attention.

"Hey," he called out. "Are you doing okay?"

"Oh, Winston," Frankie greeted, plastering a smile on her face. It wasn't fake, but it wasn't the smile she would have preferred to give him in the past. "I'm fine. A little shaken, but fine. I was just going to talk to Miles…"

Winston nodded. "Miles is a little messed up, but he's probably more concerned about the two of you knowing him."

"Yeah," Frankie said with an uncertain nod. "He has nothing to worry about. Hunter is doing well. I don't think this will trigger him… and I just know that Jonah is okay."

"I… hope so," Winston said. "I just want you to be happy."

"I will be," Frankie said strongly, leaving no room for doubt. "And, uh, thanks."

"Always. I told Miles we'd meet him outside, so let's get going. Zoë is dying to get to the hospital."

Frankie followed as Winston led them out of the gym.

* * *

"Maya, Maya," he moaned as he awoke. He opened his eyes and forced himself to keep them wide open despite the bright white pain it gave him. He was just happy that he could see as his last memory was his vision being clouded by a black smoke that felt like acid. His eyes still burned like they were ripped and bleeding, but he could see. That had to count for something.

"He's awake," he heard someone say.

Zig darted his head around to spot the speaker. "This is an ambulance?" He didn't wait for a response before speaking again. "Is Maya okay? She's a blonde girl, really pretty and kind."

"Shh, shh, calm down, you shouldn't stress yourself," the man who was likely only 10 years his senior said.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. See, look, I'm fine," Zig said gesturing over his body.

"It is good that you're feeling well…" the man said uncertainly, and Zig felt a sharp pain in his heart at the tone. "Can you tell me your name?"

Zig frowned. "Zig. Zig Novak," he said with a shake of his head. "Have you heard anything about a Maya Matlin."

"I wish I had better news, but most people were unconscious when we arrived. Can you tell me your last memory?"

"Yes… I was crawling towards Maya. I couldn't move my legs. Tiny was next to me and his head was bleeding. I didn't know what to do… Maya sat across from me, but I think the bus was upside down. There was glass everywhere," he paused a minute to touch his arms. "I guess that explains why my arms feel like they're on fire… I crawled over to Maya. She wasn't breathing, so I tried to give her CPR though I didn't really know what I was doing… Please, if you can find out about Maya, that is all that I need right now."

"Just try to stay conscious until we get to the hospital. I'm sure that you can find out more information there."

Zig nodded slowly, resigning himself to the wait. He felt his heart eating its way out of his chest...if he let Tiny die, and Maya didn't make it either…

It wasn't a thought that he would let himself think.

* * *

Hunter felt the air huff out of his lungs as Frankie crashed into his arms. It had been a while since they hugged like this and it felt so very right. They had shared one arm embraces during his stay at the hospital, but this hug was one of need and comfort that they hadn't shared since the day their family burned apart and even longer before that. It was "twiny." He tightened his hug around her.

"Are you doing okay?" he asked.

Frankie nodded. "I think so. I think Jonah is okay, I would feel if he were hurt," she said with all the conviction that she could muster.

Hunter nodded blankly. "Yeah, they say you know when someone you care love gets hurt. I would know immediately if anything ever happened to you…"

Frankie nodded. "Exactly, though that is more to do with our twin bond. I didn't even think about you when I heard about the crash. I just knew you were okay… I love you too. I guess now is as good a time as any to say it."

Hunter nodded blankly. He was man of logic, and he didn't buy his words in the least. There was no way to know if one you loved was hurt – their twin bond was the only time he believed such voodoo – but he wanted to make Frankie feel better so he tightened his hug in the slightest to let her know he was still there and alive and with her until the end.

He turned to see Miles a few feet away, his older brother resting his head against the hot metal of the car. Hunter reached out to touch him, and Miles turned to him with eyes that were clouded by mist.

"Family hug?" Hunter asked. Frankie didn't give their older brother a choice as they dragged Miles into the middle. "We'll get through this. We're all together… plus, they're both alright. They're all alright. We all know that."

"Yeah…" Miles agreed. "We're probably just freaking out. The news report would have listed any fatalities. This time next week it will be like nothing ever happened."

* * *

Miles absorbed the love in his sibling's hug as best he could. Everything was going to be alright. Everything had to be alright. Tristan wasn't hurt. Tristan was so happy and full of life. There was no way the love of his life could be dead. His stomach turned as he recalled his sibling's words. Frankie could feel that Jonah was okay, and the jealousy at the twin bond that his siblings shared reared its ugly head.

"We're going to be okay," he said blankly, but he couldn't force himself to mean it. Something wasn't right. His stomach wouldn't stop churning. He closed his eyes and forced himself to think back to happier days. Just around this time last year he and his siblings had been bonded in a hug just like this one as they stood against their father. It was a day of faith in a better future, and he did everything he could to tap into that faith and love he had felt.

"Miles," he heard Zoë speak. He shook his head wondering where she came from, but the recalled that she was here with Winston. "We need to get going. Tristan will kill you if I get there before you."

Miles nodded. She was right. If Tristan was in an accident, he would want more than anything for Miles to be there with him.

"Let's go," he said to his siblings. Miles forced a smile onto his face as Frankie threw a knowing glance at Hunter as she approached the passenger seat. They may often fight for shotgun, but Frankie was always an observant one when it came to Hunter. They shared a smirk over the top of the car as they watched Hunter open the right side door for Yael before running around to get in himself.

_Focus on the little things_ , he told himself. His family was safe. His brother was happier than he had been in months. His sister had a gut feeling that her love was fine. He would just have to put a smile on and be strong until he knew his siblings would be okay; he couldn't afford to let them see him struggle.

A part of him just felt so incredibly wrong. Tristan wasn't okay. But he would plaster that smile on his face.

Fake it till you make it. It's not as if he hadn't done it before.


	3. Chapter 3

**Don't Leave Me III**

The car ride was mostly quiet, so Frankie took the time to observe her brothers. Miles sat in the driver's seat with his hands gripping the steering wheel perhaps a little more tightly than he should, lips pursed as he chewed at them like gum. She was worried about him, but knew he would pull through. He was stronger than he thought, and didn't realize that he was a pillar of strength for many, particularly Hunter.

She looked back to her twin who had his fingers entwined with Yael. They were cute. Never would she have guessed that her nerdy little brother would hold hands in the back seat while making what passed for googly eyes for him. Just yesterday he looked appalled at the thought of a date, but now he had shown himself as the smitten guy he was. Ugh, so weird thinking of Hunter as "smitten."

A part of her wonder what was so special about Yael for Hunter. She was cute enough, but hardly a model – though she suspected that was part of the allure. He wasn't one to care about looks or the surface of anything. He had always seen beneath, and whatever was inside Yael's soul had to be special for her brother to peel his eyes away from his video games in the first place, much less be second only to Miles with his devotion. She seemed like a girl who was very much herself, and Hunter was entranced.

A spark a jealousy kindled within her. Years ago, she and Hunter had been close, but when he was in the psych ward he had barely wanted to see her. It was always "Where's Miles?" or "Has Yael texted you recently? When is she coming?"

When had their relationship gone south? She had thought growing apart from her twin was a natural part of growing up, but maybe she had gone too far? Maybe she had cut their ties too harshly in order to achieve popularity and normality – the only part of their childhood she kept true to was their shared love of comic books.

She really was the self-centered bitch everyone thought she was. She closed her eyes and promised herself not to ever be like Zoë Rivas. Frankie knew she may be self-absorbed at times, but she would never hurt anyone… Where had her brother gone wrong in those regards? She threw another look back at Hunter to see a shaky smile on his enamored face, and hoped that whatever had possessed him would never come back. If he had to choose another girl over her to anchor himself, so be it.

"Whatcha thinking?" Miles beside her. "Your face looks… concerned."

"Nothing," Frankie muttered, forcing cheer into her voice.

"Not Jonah?" he queried.

"It wasn't," she said through a frown. "Though I was trying to think of anything but."

"Sorry," he muttered as he returned his eyes to the road.

She fought the urge to be mad as he was only trying to help, but she wouldn't let him hide from his struggles for her sake. The thought occurred to her to ask how he was doing, but she could see it written across his face. After years of hiding his pain, he had finally learned how to express himself around those that he loved. There was a hardness that she recognized his gaze – for now, at least, he did not want to talk.

_Jonah_ , she thought.  _Please be safe… I need you. You've been there for me all year… it's been so long since I've felt like I matter._

Only then did she let herself cry. It was a quiet cry. No chest shuddering sobs, no sounds at all. Just the silence of salty fire dripping down her face.

* * *

 

It felt like she was under water. A lot of it. It felt like she was at the bottom of the ocean. No, a volcano. It was so very hot. She couldn't breathe, and she felt incredible pressure on her chest. She felt herself cough and heave, and felt fire shoot up through her at the motion. She opened her eyes expecting to feel the fire, but the only thing she saw was a bright white that burned all the same.

Voices. She heard voices speaking.

"... firbosis. This girl meets the description." A pause. "She's awake. Are you Grace Cardinal?"

She tried to nod, tried to fight her body's inability to move, but she couldn't. She couldn't breathe. She wanted to breathe so badly. She wanted to live. She didn't want die. She didn't leave when she was on the outs with one of her best friends... well two of her best friends. She didn't want to leave the world as the only one who knew about Zoe's new habit. She didn't want to leave Zig alone to fuck up his life. She wanted to live to help Maya see her dreams, to see Tiny go to college and study dolphins, even to see that cotton candy with lips find her place in the world.

She just wanted to live and see life for all that it was. She felt her eyes close and her heart pumped with fear as if it was the end. _I'm not ready_ , she though, and she forced her eyes open with all her will power. She heard Zoë's voice in her mind. " _You have something to live for!_ "

She felt her eyes open and close. A blink if she could call that. It was something. Some form of communication.

"She's coughing up blood," a voice said to another as she nearly phased out of consciousness. "Count yourself lucky that your friend informed us of your condition. She may have very well saved you."

She felt her eyes close.  _Thank you, Maya._

* * *

 

Yael sat in the backseat quietly, hand loosely gripped around Hunter's as her best friend's older brother drove them to the hospital. It was surreal, really. She may not know very many of the people on the bus and, truthfully, only cared because they were fellow humans, but it was so weird. Bizarre even. She couldn't get the thought out of her head though. People she knew were on their way to the hospital. Dead or dying, or facing a lifetime of pain, or off racing frantically to see their loved ones.

It was all unimaginable. She couldn't get the thought out of her head that it could have been her. If it weren't for Hunter asking her to "hang out," she would very likely have been on that bus. But she was no self-absorbed fool. She wouldn't let the fear of the unknown and the unoccured weigh on her heart. It was time to see what she could do to help - it was the least she could do to make up for what she did last semester.

She tightened her grip ever so slightly in Hunter's hand, and looked to him as they shared a tentative smile. It was weird, what they had. For so long they had been best friends - not for span of time, but for power of that relationship. One moment she was alone in the world, and the next she had Hunter. Less than a year now, and he felt like a part of herself. It was nice to have a friend, a best friend, and she wondered more than once if what they had was more. Soul mates perhaps? It wasn't something she believed in, but when she looked at Hunter she felt something greater than she could put into words. And it scared her for so many reasons.

Last semester had been a nightmare. She went on and on with awful things, and looking back on it she couldn't say why. She knew it was awful what they did to Maya, but it never clicked. It never clicked that it was wrong to hurt another. The closet thing she could think of was that Hunter willed it, and she had followed him to the ends of the Earth. Now even he was afraid of himself.

She closed her eyes and she was back in the gym. Hunter had told her to leave, to run away and never look back, if he ever scared her again. But she was afraid now. Afraid that she would lose him, so she pulled him close and quieted him with a kiss. It was a nice kiss. Weird in a way. Her first. She wasn't sure what to think of it, but it all felt so right as his warm lip met hers, and she stroked her hand over his jaw to pull him closer.

Maybe she did know what it was like to lose someone she loved. It was that feeling when she was looking up to Hunter after he pushed her to the floor. The feeling when he looked at her with hate in his eyes at the dance. The feeling when Miles told her that it would really help Hunter if she came to see him; the feeling when she scoured the letter Hunter had written her as she fought against logic to go and see him. It was the feeling when he looked in her eyes and told her to run and never look back... the gut-wrenching fear she had now when she knew she never would.

She looked over to Hunter again as he plastered a smile on his face for her benefit. She knew Hunter wasn't happy nor sad. He likely felt nothing for those who were hurt short of the human decency that demanded you feel bad for loss of life. She knew he wasn't afraid as he was only afraid of himself.

No, that wasn't true. He was afraid for his siblings. It was a shock seeing Hunter with them. There, he showed a compassion that she had never seen. To her, it was hope. A hope she could latch on to. She could see it in his eyes. He wanted to help people. He wanted to change. And maybe she could too.

Maybe she could make up for the past. Her punishment for her misdeeds had been community service; helping others may just be the way to make up for what they did.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Other plans for this chapter that were dropped was a scene of Goldi at the gym trying to get everything under control, feeling the need has fallen to her with Tristan out of commission, and not being able to get in contact with the school due to everyone calling. But, alas, I cut it. The scene wasn't happening in words, and really, didn't entirely fit the story.
> 
> I also was going to include a scene of Winston/Zoë in the car, but I cut it as well. I'm saving Zoë emotional stuff until she encounters Grace and Tristan - whether they'll be alive when she encounters them is up in the air as far as you know \o/
> 
> With the next chapter, we (should) be at the hospital! Eventually this story will change structure as characters break off and do their own thing (I have an in-depth Fronah subplot in plan... yes, I hate myself too, but 2x07 made me ship them), and one where Hunter goes off on an escapade. (What, I'm partial to the Hollingsworths). Can expect at least a dab of Zaya as well, and a Tiny/Shay/Lola subplot... I will tell you Tiny is alive, but what is wrong with him exactly? Dun dun dun.


	4. Chapter 4

**Don't Leave Me IV**

Miles pulled into the first parking spot he found, and counted Winston lucky that there was one next to it - there was someone who was more important on his mind. Tristan. Tristan. He had to see Tristan. To know that he was safe and that they still had each other. He didn't know what he would do without Tristan…

But he shook the thought from his head and forced a confident smile on his face. "You ready?" he asked Frankie. "I'm sure Jonah is perfectly fine. He always struck me as kinda… you know, tough?"

"Mhm," Frankie vocalized with a nod. "He's tough. He wouldn't let a bus crash take him out… plus, I've been thinking. We're really just getting worried about the the worst of this. I'm sure everyone is fine…"

Miles nodded absently as he turned to the backseat. "You two ready?" he asked Hunter and Yael. They agreed silently as they stepped out of the car.

He saw Winston's car and waved his hands above his head to get his friend's attention. It hit him suddenly – right in the chest with the density of a rock that left him feeling like the emptiness of a balloon. He felt nothing inside him – a very real nothing that was trying to burst out of him and eat him alive.

Was this what Hunter felt all of those months? All of those years? A nothingness? Every movement being a motion rather than a desire? _Damn, no wonder he cracked. I should have known..._

"You okay?" Winston asked as he got out of the car.

"Yeah, yeah," Miles muttered as his eyes followed Zoë coming around the back. Her eyes were red, not that it surprised him that she had been crying. If his siblings hadn't been in the car, he would have been crying the whole way…

"Is she okay?" he asked Winston. Zoë looked up to him with blank eyes as Winston put an awkward if supportive hand on her shoulder.

"She's just worried. She and Tristan were at a disagreement when… well before. And she really wants to talk to Grace about stuff…" Winston said.

It struck Miles that Winston was hiding something, but as it was a matter dealing with Zoë, that was hardly surprising. He knew that she and Tristan were at an outs, though they tried to keep it under wraps. He had his suspicions, but was going to leave Zoë to figure this one out on her own… and if her rushing off to Grace at the first sign of trouble after whatever falling out they had was a sign, his suspicions may very well be correct.

Not too long ago Zoë ranked up there as one of the more important people in his life, if just as a person to keep him company and stop him from feeling like complete, worthless shit. He would have to make sure to talk to her later… in a way, he was just another person to have abandoned her, and he understood that all too well. Not for the first time in his life the words were like a chant in his head.

_Don't leave me. Don't leave me. Don't leave me._

* * *

" _Frankie, where are you? Are you at the hospital yet?_ "

It was a text from Shay, and a part of Frankie felt elated that her friend cared enough to text… given recent events. But at least their friendship was back to what it used to be.

" _Yeah_ ," she sent in reply as they walked into the hospital door. Miles went to the front desk to ask about the Degrassi students. She noticed the sheer crowd in the front lobby, and knew that it wasn't normal. Her heart clinched for all of the people here. If their pain was a tenth of hers… in fact, it was probably worse as the sheer intuition she had told her that Jonah was fine. It was bizarre knowing everyone here was suffering together…

She looked again at her phone and took a moment to process what Shay was going through – Lola too, no doubt. They were likely still in a panic over Tiny… and she couldn't will her intuition to tell her that Tiny was okay. They were going to need her support.

" _I got a ride with Miles_ ," she added. " _Are you on your way? I can ask around about him if you want._ "

" _We're on the way now. That Baaz kid is giving us a ride. Said he lost your little brother and that you likely left with Miles_ ," Shay sent in return. Frankie eyed the dancing ellipses with concern as Shay continued, only to chuckle at the addition. " _This weird Vijay kid won't stop singing_."

"What's so funny?" Hunter asked from beside her. "I wouldn't think you'd be laughing at a time like this."

Frankie shook her head with amusement. "I'm just intrigued how you have a friend like Vijay."

Hunter squinted at her. "Random," he muttered, before turning his attention back to Yael. It was nice to see her little brother with friends now; staying locked inside for a good two or three years of his life after she left him behind on the social ladder hadn't been the best for him. She wouldn't allow herself to be jealous. She had been selfish enough already.

"Let's go," she heard Miles order. "I couldn't get to the front desk, but I heard all those with minor injuries are in Wing C. We'll just hope that they're there… if not, we'll ask around." `

Frankie nodded as she followed Miles' lead. It struck her now that Miles knew this hospital well, and she was sad that she hadn't been able to visit him the two days that he was in here to recover from his overdose last semester. She had been too busy crying about boys to notice as both of her brother's fell down a hole that only they could save themselves from…

Jonah would tell her not to think that way, and she could only hope that he was well enough to tell her again.

* * *

Zoë frowned as she followed Miles through the hospital. As much of a walking disaster that he may consider himself to be, she trusted him to be a leader. It was no small part in why she had sought him as a prize for so long. He was rich, he was powerful, and he was someone who could make her feel important if he loved her. That hadn't worked out for more reasons than one. She didn't want to feel important… she just wanted to be loved. What was wrong with her friend group that they were all so desperate for the basics of humanity? Perhaps it was being gay or whatever in a society that hated you...

She wondered if he knew about her. Miles' sexuality was as fluid as she had ever seen, so surely he suspected something about her spat with Tristan. That sent a fresh wave of guilt through her as she realized that her best friend hadn't ratted her out to his boyfriend… though she wondered if Miles had guessed nonetheless. He had been the first to suspect her attraction to Grace, almost before she herself knew.

But she was out now. Sort of. Winston knew… and those words would be the first Tristan heard when she saw him. _You were right. I'm sorry for hurting you… and myself. I'm sorry I let my hatred of myself turn into hatred of you. I love you. You're my best friend…_

Her thoughts reached a sudden end as she ran into someone. "Shit, I'm sorry, I…" she lost her voice as she saw who it was. Frankie… someone who hated her guts, and rightfully so. One of the many people who played the role of victim on the rise to being the psychotic bitch Grace saw her as.

"I…" she stammered, before Frankie stopped her.

"We don't have time to fight… are you okay? I heard you were worried about Tristan and Grace…" Frankie said. "I'm here for Jonah… and to support Miles."

Zoë nodded slowly. "Thanks… I hope Jonah is okay. I don't really know him, but I just want everyone to be okay. Everything… just hurts so much." She gasped as Frankie pulled her into a hug.

"Things will be fine, I just know it," Frankie said. "Are you okay? You're crying."

"Ye-yeah, I'm just emotional… and my leg hurts. And my heart. I just..." and then Zoë let herself fall into Frankie's arms just like it was old times.

* * *

Hugging Zoë was not a thing she had expected to do ever again after Zoë showed her true colors back with Degrassi Nudes, but as she saw the other girl crying she knew she had no choice. It was the right thing to do. A selfish person would hold onto their hate as someone suffered, but a good person would put all of that aside and spread love in its place.

Her heart stopped as she saw Zoë's lips quiver, and she put as much of her love into her as she could. She didn't keep track of Zoë much these days – short of the fact that she had managed to take her ex without even meaning to – but she knew that Zoë had few people to find comfort in. And, if there was anything she could see in the faces of all these people she knew, it was that everyone needed someone to get through this.

"We'll get through this, Zoë," Frankie said. "Everyone is fine, I just know it."

Zoë attempted a nod, but snatched her hand away as Frankie's fingers brushed her wrist.

_That was a burn_ , Frankie thought, as Zoë hid crossed her arms. _She's hiding it_. "If you need to talk, I'm here… or Miles, I'm sure, if you feel more comfortable. Tristan's fine, I just know it…" she wanted to say more, but a call of her name caught her ears.

"Frankie?" she heard a deep voice speak, and her heart jumped with glee. _Jonah!_

"Jonah!?" she cried as she ran toward him, throwing herself into his arms and lips meeting his without a care for the people around them. He was safe. She knew he was, but now she had proof. She rubbed her hands up and down his arms, his back, and his chest. She touched his face to pull him closer as they kissed. He was real. He was alive.

She wanted so much to be happy, but there was only one other person in the room she recognized... and it wasn't the one who would make Miles whole.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So Jonah is alive and apparently well - at the very least, Frankie hasn't noticed him missing any limbs. I'll be honest with you though, he's the best off! So, that leaves us with 2 of our beloved characters unaccounted for... dun dun.
> 
> Also, as you may have noticed, chapters are getting longer the further I get into the story and the more developed it becomes. This will lead to rewrites of earlier chapters when I republish this :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay on this one. I took one day off, and then another day to finish up chapter one on my story "The Fault in Our Porn Stars."

**Don't Leave Me V**

Maya was happy to see that people she knew were starting to roll in. Maybe with the uproar, the doctors would start to give them answers. So far, out of all her friends on the bus, she only knew about the well-being of Jonah. He was fine short of a few cuts and bruises, and she was hardly worse off considering the severity of their crash - merely a broken wrist, and possible concussion they would need to keep an eye on. The doctors refused to tell them anything about the other students other than that they should "consider themselves lucky that their injuries were so minor." Fuck that. The only solace she had was an offhanded 'thanks' for warning them about Grace's cystic fibrosis - it might not be confirmation that she was okay, but at least she wasn't dead.

She was happy that Frankie had come to see Jonah so quickly; she knew his heart was soaring as she was all that he had talked about since they found each other after being sent to this room. Her eyes crossed over the rest of the crowd. She fought the shudder of disgust at Hunter and Zoë. She would be civil with them if only for her friends' sake. Miles had come running to her earlier that semester and begged for forgiveness on Hunter's part, and she had granted it if only out of compassion - she had her own bouts with mental disorders as well, even if it didn't harass her every day, and she couldn't imagine what it was like for Hunter. If Hunter shared the behavior she had after Cam's death, but tenfold and in a way that manifested in violence... she would do her best for the time being to not hate him. As for Zoë, if Grace wanted to slowly pull Zoë back into her life, she would try not to hate her. It might help her forgive Zig as well.

She forced a smile on her lips as her eyes met Miles'. They may not talk much these days, but they were still friends. Her heart was trembling at fear for Tristan's safety, and she knew that Miles was infinitely more frightened for their close friend's well-being. She could see it written across his face. He held that strong facade that he often kept plastered across his face, but it faltered ever so slightly at times. She had become accustomed to it during their short lived relationship, and after they broke up she felt like she was the only person that who could see it. It was the face Cam always wore, and now she would never let it pass without concern.

She had long since come to terms with his death, but more importantly, she remembered the lessons she had learned. She wouldn't let someone she could help ever fall again... and she wondered how she had missed it with Zig. Had she put her career so far ahead of him that she couldn't see the pain etched across his face at being left behind? Probably, but she didn't regret it in the slightest. She wanted to be something in the music world, and she couldn't let a guy hold her back any longer.

She shook off those thoughts. They had been dancing in her head all semester, and they wouldn't be going away anytime soon. People were hurt, maybe dead, and she need to help comfort those who were suffering - and, hopefully, find some comfort herself. Five of the most important people in her life had been on that bus, and Jonah was the only one she knew was safe.

She blinked, and Miles was approaching. She did her best to put on a strong face for him. She would be convincing herself as much as him that everything was alright.

* * *

Miles felt his smile falter as he approached Maya. His back was turned on his siblings now, so his facade was no longer a burden he must carry. Plus, Maya was the first person he had ever opened up completely to, and now, without Tristan, he felt drawn to the only other person who had ever tried to understand him.

"Hey," he greeted as he took the seat next to her. "Long time no see." He fought the urge to stroke his fingers through her hair and to brush his thumb over the bandage on his forehead. He wasn't sure if it was nostalgia or the desire to feel close to someone in Tristan's absence, but he ignored it. She wouldn't take kindly to such closeness - though, if Tristan were "gone" it would give him more than enough motivation to rise from the dead and smack him.

"Yeah," Maya sighed. "It has been a while. It's a shame it took tragedy to make us speak."

"Yeah... sorry about that. My first semester wasn't a party... well it was, but mainly the drug parts. Then I was busy with Hunter this semester, and then Tristan and I started getting close again... we were so happy..." he felt himself heave air into his lungs as if he were hyperventilating, and his stomach turned upside down.

He felt Maya's fingers intertwine with his. "Tristan's okay, I'm sure he is," she tried to console. Miles recognized it as that, but he couldn't stop himself from getting too hopeful.

"What!?" he nearly shouted as his fingers tightened around Maya's. "Sorry," he muttered, letting her hand go as she grimaced. It would do no good to hurt her still good hand, if he had to make a guess at the sling around the other. "Have you heard anything?"

Maya frowned. "No, we haven't heard anything. They just keep on telling us we should feel lucky to be alive. They don't care about how we feel. They don't care how much it hurts to know that we're okay and they might not be. They..." she paused and took a deep breath, followed by an exhale. "Breath, Maya. Breath," she said.

Miles placed a tentative hand on her shoulder. He waited a moment as she breathed in and out a few times, and her breaths became more regular and calm. "I have some prescription anxiety medicine in my car if you need it... I get panic attacks sometimes too, but it's gotten better..."

"I think I'll be fine... but thanks. I'll let you know if I need them."

There was silence between them before Miles spoke again. "Can you tell me... like if you think you can... memories from what happened? Was Tristan okay? Was he afraid?"

"I... don't remember much," Maya said slowly. "We were all so happy. So normal. We were singing and joking... and then there was this loud noise and everything changed. I couldn't see or hear much, and it's all a blur now. It was so hot. I think there was a fire. I... I can still feel the smoke in my lungs. I think the bus was upside-down, and we were on the ceiling with glass everywhere." Her voice was quivering now.

"You can stop, if you need to," Miles said.

"No, I need to finish. Just in case something happens to me and I pass out or die, I need to tell someone what happened... We were on the ceiling, and glass was all around us. I heard someone yelling Tristan's name. 'Wake up! Wake up, Tristan!' Grace was coughing up tons of blood, and I never saw Tiny. Zig crawled over and started kissing me... I think he was giving me CPR..." she paused for a moment to chuckle. On anyone else, the chuckle would have sounded insane, but on Maya he felt kindness instead. "He's such an idiot. A cute idiot, but an idiot none the less."

Miles nodded slowly, and wanted to chime in with a joke about Zig of his own, but it was hardly the time. His former rival could be dead... and it wasn't information about Tristan. "Who do you think was telling Tristan to wake up? I'm sorry, but I really need to know."

Maya shook her head. "I don't know. It was a guy, I can say that for certain. Probably Jonah? They were sitting next to each other in the seat behind Grace and me."

"Thank you," Miles said, then on impulse embraced her in a hug. "I... if you need to talk, I'm here. I guess you lost your phone in the crash, but I'll be around until I hear about Tristan. Let me know if you need those pills. I need to talk to Jonah."

Maya returned his hug. "Let's just hope all of this works out... I'm not sure we can take another bad thing happening to us. How much can we take, you know?"

* * *

Zoë watched with jealous eyes as Miles and Maya talked. A part of her was back in Paris as she watched them getting along so well as she was left in the dust. In a way, that was still happening. They've all made a variety of mistakes, but only hers were worthy of becoming pariah. She couldn't blame them really. Grace hadn't been lying when she described her as a notorious sociopath. She let a tear fall at the thought. It blended in well with all the others.

Today had been a whirlwind from realizing Grace didn't hate her completely, to coming out to Winston, and the rushing off to see Grace to tell her how she felt - to find some excuse not to hurt herself anymore. She knew it was wrong, but it always made her feel better in some way...

She slammed her first against the spot on her leg where the fresh burn scars were still forming, and let out of hiss hidden by her whimperings of grief. It was painful, but it felt right. She deserved pain. She was awful, and if she was in pain she could forget that fact, if but just for a moment.

Someone gripping her arm got her attention. "Are you okay?" the person asked, and Zoë instantly recognized it as Frankie.

_Grand_ , she though. _Exhibit C on how Zoë Rivas is the worst person ever_. She keep those thoughts to herself as she spoke. "I'm fine," she muttered, before muttering an afterthought. "Thanks."

"Why did you just hit yourself?" Frankie asked.

"Oh, just an itch," Zoë lied. An itch to hurt herself maybe, but not an itch in the way Frankie was meant to understand. Her scarred skin felt fiery and sensitive to the air around it. An itch would be the last of her concerns. Frankie gave her a concerned look. "What? I'm fine, promise," she repeated as her thumb brushed over the lighter in her purse.

Why was Frankie even bothering her anyway? Didn't she just get her little boyfriend back? Her eyes found Jonah talking with Miles, and she wondered how she managed to miss Miles leaving Maya. How long had she been lost in her thoughts?

She heard the name Tristan, and suddenly she was more attentive to their conversation. She was between them before she had the chance to think about it. "What is this about Tristan?"

Jonah rolled his eyes, and Zoë fought the hurt she felt. She couldn't blame him really. All he knew about her was what he heard from Maya and Grace in their band, and those were the least of her crimes.

Miles answered to fill the silence. "Jonah was just telling me how he dragged Tristan and Grace out of the bus."

"Ah," Zoë said in recognition, but her heart jumped with joy. The two most important people in her life made it off the bus.

"Yeah," Jonah said. "Tristan was unconscious and bleeding a bit from his head. Might have broken his nose. Think he slammed face first into the seat in front of us. He was still breathing when I dragged him through the window. I went back in for Grace after that. She was alive... but coughing up a lot of blood..."

Zoë nodded. Coughing up a lot of blood was bad, very bad, but likely not as bad as Jonah suspected.

"Yeah," Frankie's voice chimed in as she slid her arm through Jonah's and lead gently against his body. "He was a real hero today."

"I imagine," Zoë agreed uncertainly. It was strange. Frankie had done her best to avoid her for over a year now, and now it felt like she was stalking her. _Great, exactly what I need is a little girl worrying about a little wrist burn. As usual she never thinks things through._

The four of them stood in silence for a bit, and a part of her was jealous at the eyes Frankie and Jonah were giving each other. Miles was eyeing them, but didn't seem to mind; in fact, he had something approaching a smile on his face.

She knew that she and Miles had a lot of similarities - impulsive, vindictive, manipulative, and desperate for someone to care about them. Perhaps their biggest difference was when he saw someone who had what he wanted, he was happy - she hadn't seen such a smile on his face except when he was with Tristan. But whenever she saw someone who had what she wanted - be it Maya, Frankie or even Tristan - she wanted to hurt them. To take it. If she couldn't have it, why should anyone else?

And she hated herself for it.

She made eye contact with Miles, and his lips twisted as if he wanted to say something. She put a fake smile on her face as she spoke. "I think I'm going to go find the girls room... let me know if you hear anything."

Miles nodded reluctantly as she turned her back towards them, and she let out a sigh of relief as she brushed her fingers over the lighter. It was the one thing that always made her feel better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed at thought the chapter was up to snuff after my minor break :P Please review if you enjoyed!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Self-harm. Should be no surprise after the previous chapter.

**Don't Leave Me VI**

Zoë had been acting very strangely, Frankie noticed as she relished in Jonah's embrace. Zoë had been shifty throughout their conversation, and to the normal observer she would have just seemed upset due to tragic circumstances of the day. But there was something off that Frankie just couldn't shake.

Her eyes met Winston's, and something of a smile crossed her ex's face before he turned away. She saw worry in his eyes, and a part of her wondered if it was for her. She pushed that thought away. She knew that Winston was concerned for her in a way, but he would be more focused on his current girlfriend for the time being.

She just couldn't shake that there was something wrong with Zoë, and that her best bet was to talk to him. Winston was standing behind Miles, and he looked as if he was looking for a cue to talk to talk to Miles. Frankie frowned at the thought, but Miles would have to wait. There was something in Zoë's behavior that reminded her of Miles last semester. Something wasn't right, and she needed to help while she could.

She shrugged Jonah off her, and turned to look at him. "I think you should go talk to Maya, to make sure she is okay. She's sitting off in that corner alone and all. I need to go talk to Winston about something real quick."

"Yeah, sure," Jonah replied as he turned to walk towards Maya.

Frankie smiled at the trust she heard in his voice. Jonah always had her best interest at heart, and he understood her in a way no one else ever had. It felt like he knew the intent in her words without her having to say much.

She approached Winston and reached an arm out to him. "Can we talk?" she asked.

"What? Yeah," Winston muttered, some confusion etched in his voice, but he seemed eager to talk.

Frankie led them out of the waiting room and into a nearby hallway. "Has Zoë been acting… unusual lately?" she asked as soon as they found a private place to speak.

Winston blinked. "Uh… a little?" he stammered as if confused himself. "I can't really say much because Zoë is going through some things, but I think she will be okay."

Frankie nodded. "I see. Have you noticed a burn on her wrist?"

"Yeah," Winston said. "She burnt herself on a candle. It was kind of weird she posted it online, but it wasn't a bad burn really."

"Yeah, I heard about that on Facerange. Some niners thought it was funny to joke that the student council secretary was hurting herself."

Winston froze for a moment, and Frankie saw his thoughts churning. "I… I thought she was hurting herself, but wasn't sure how to bring it up. Uh… keep this quiet, but she confirmed it to me this afternoon. We were off to talk to Grace about it when… you know."

Frankie nodded, saddened but hardly surprised at the fact that everything came back to the crash. She shook that thought off as she spoke. "So Zoë has been hurting herself. That burn on her wrist caught my eye for a reason, I know it. We should… we should go find her. I have a feeling…"

"Yes, we have to," Winston agreed. "Ugh, I'm awful. I told her I'd help her, but I was distracted making sure you and Miles were okay…"

"Don't blame yourself," Frankie said. "What matters now is that we help her while we still can."

* * *

Zoë walked to the bathroom as fast as she could without running. She skipped the first one she passed by, and the second. They were too close, and she didn't want to risk one of her friends finding her. Plus, the area was too crowded anyway. She needed complete privacy. She found a staircase and went up two levels until she found a floor that seemed quiet. She tiptoed from the stairwell, and entered the bathroom nearby. She stopped breathing for a moment to listen for the presence of anyone else.

She was alone. She was always alone, and for once she was happy about that. She entered the third stall from the door so that she was far enough down not to draw attention to anyone who entered. She took a seat on the toilet, and shrugged off her disgust at the thought of sullying her grey dress with a public toilet seat, but it was of no real concern.

She hiked up the lower half of her dress and brushed her fingers over the scars that lay there. She exhaled a sigh of relief that turned into a whimper. For a moment, for a small moment that pain was a relief, but it didn't work the way that it used to. Before it had overpowered her mind, but had been bearable enough to keep it up for extended periods of time. That was the relief. If she felt physical, corporeal pain, she would forget, even if for only a moment, the pain in her heart.

Tears streamed down her face as she retrieved the lighter from her purse. When she had her burning session after her shower this morning, she felt kind of into it. It was a relief to be able to hide from her guilt and hate, and she looked forward to the support that her online friends gave her. It was different now as she rolled the lighter in her fingers. A part of her said it was a lie. The lighter wouldn't help her in the least.

She flicked her finger over the ignition of the lighter before she could talk herself out of it, and pressed the flame to her skin in one swift motion. She gasped as the flame licked her skin, and she sucked a slow, achy inhalation of air into her lungs as the flame sizzled and melted her skin.

Her hand was shaking uncontrollably with thousands of tiny movements as she let the flame roll away into nonexistence. She placed the lighter on the toilet paper dispenser, before wiping away the tears that accumulated on her cheeks. The pain was searing through her mind, and her entire body felt on edge.

Her chest shuddered at the realization that it didn't work. Her usual method of relief brought nothing but pain without doing anything to soften her mental torment. She snorted through tears and mucus, and grabbed some toilet paper to wipe her face.

She grabbed her phone and did her best to open Hastygram through blurred vision and shaky fingers. She snapped a picture and typed what was on her heart. _"I just need to see you."_

She took another. _"I just need to hear your voice."_

Another. _"Please come back to me."_

_"I'm sorry."_

The comments came rolling in and a fresh sob tore through her chest and down her entire body. They meant nothing to her, and all she had now were here tears.

* * *

"Sorry about leaving you like that earlier," Miles said as he took a seat next to Maya. "I just had to find out whatever I could about Tristan."

Maya looked up to him with dead eyes, and his heart broke as he saw her force life into them for his sake. "No, I understand. I was dying to know what happened to Tristan. I haven't heard anything about Grace, Zig or Tiny either."

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Miles asked. "Wait, that was stupid. My bad. I really have no idea what to do right now. If I lose Tristan… I…"

Maya nodded.

Miles saw an understanding in her eyes and relaxed into his chair contently. It made him feel safe to be near someone who understood… that person used to be Tristan, and Miles really wished he hadn't let that thought cross his mind. He rested his face in his hand, and was only mildly surprised to feel moisture as he squeezed his temples.

He stifled a gasp as Maya wrapped her hands around his free one, but he didn't stop her. Hands had always been his and Tristan's thing, and someone holding his reminded his soul of Tristan. Miles pulled in a deep breath of air as he removed his hand from his temples and looked at Maya in the eyes.

"I don't know if you remember or not," Maya said, "but my first boyfriend died a little before we met."

"On the contrary," Miles said slowly as he nodded in recognition at the sad memory. "I remember everything you have ever told me." He had been in the early stages of love with Maya at that point, and it had crushed his heart to see her cry at the still-fresh memories. It, in fact, was the moment he realized what he felt for her involved more than his dick. If it hadn't, jealousy would have been his first concern.

"I'm glad to hear that," Maya said with something of a smile on her face. "But, anyway, I just want you to know that what you are feeling is perfectly fine. Everyone has a right to grieve in their own way. There is no right way to mourn the loss of those we love. We just have to do what we need. People thought I was crazy, but I was just so mad… But, honestly Miles, I don't think we have anything to worry about. I think Tristan is perfectly fine." She punctuated her words with a reassuring squeeze of her hands around his.

Miles nodded out of obligation rather than feeling. They had to pretend that Tristan was okay to get them through this. Until they had no choice…

He had no place pushing his struggles on Maya. "Enough about me. How are you?"

Maya blinked. "Fine. I guess. I'm afraid, but I have hope. I feel as if… I know we'll make it through."

"How... close are you and Zig these days?" he asked slowly, gauging her visage at every word to make sure he didn't step on a sore point.

"Things were okay," Maya sighed. "We weren't dating. Not even friends really at this point… but I think we were going to try the whole friend thing."

"Ah," Miles nodded. "Sorry for not knowing, I guess. I heard some things, but yeah. I've been a shitty friend."

"We've all had a tough time lately," Maya consoled him. "We're here for each other now, so don't beat yourself up over the past."

"That's the challenge, isn't it?"

* * *

Hunter watched as he always did. Observation was one of his talents, though he didn't really think of it that way. It was so intrinsically a part of him, that it wasn't an addition. It was him. And what he was observing made him feel hopeless. He may be a master observer, but he had always been poor at doing anything valuable with it.

Frankie was nowhere to be found after she left with Winston, and Miles was sitting next to Maya looking distraught if under control; he wanted to help Miles, but he knew Miles needed to do his own thing with Maya right now. Frankie's boyfriend, Jonah, was sitting off to the side of Maya trying not to listen in on his brother's conversation with her, but also trying to learn more – likely for Frankie's sake, Hunter imagined. Sometime after Frankie left, Shay and Lola had arrived and they were sitting off to the side of the room quiet save for tears.

All around him were people crying and sobbing for their loves ones, or others like him who were at a loss for what to do to help. The atmosphere of the room had both lightened and grown thicker in the last half-hour. More and more people were checked out and went home with their families causing silent cheers to travel throughout the room; on the other hand, those that were left were becoming restless, angry and afraid.

Hunter recognized those feelings all too well. Every moment he was restless as life passed him by. Every moment he was afraid he couldn't be a better Hunter. Every moment had anger snaking up his back threatening to make a home in his mind.

He was restless now.

He paced along with the worried parents and siblings, and he didn't know what to do to fix it. These people had one thing easy – they knew how to feel better. All they needed was news on their loved ones. But, to Hunter, he didn't know. He never knew how to feel better. Never knew how to make himself better.

Hunter felt useless. He wanted to find some way to help these people. Some way to cause some good in the world after everything that went down this last year. He wanted to reach out to Miles and offer help, but he knew his brother would never share his hardship with him. He wanted to be strong for Frankie, but she didn't need it any more than he did. He wanted to be happy that he and his twin were alive and well, but he couldn't help but feel guilty. All these people were suffering, and he couldn't help.

"I want to help," he spoke aloud.

"What?" Yael asked.

Hunter blinked, Yael's voice bringing him back to his body. "I want to help," he repeated. "I don't like sitting here doing nothing. I'm fine, you're fine. We're fine. My brother and sister are fine. If I weren't here for Miles, I wouldn't have any reason to remember that there was a bus crash. But I don't want to feel that way. I see all these people suffering… and I want to find some way to help. I don't know what to do though. I mean, I'm hardly the type who can just go and make someone feel better. I'd probably end up insulting someone…"

"I suppose that is likely the case," Yael agreed, fighting to keep the smirk off of her lips. "We can try to find a way to help maybe? We could volunteer? They probably need all the help that they can get."

"Hmmm," Hunter considered, eyebrows arching into his hair. "You think?"

Yael nodded. "Plus, this could really help you, if you end up needing community service."

Hunter nodded slowly. "Yeah…" He didn't want to tell her everything yet, but it might be for the best. "I have something…" _to tell you_ , he finished silently. "Never mind," he muttered. "We should go see if they need some sort of volunteer work."

Yael nodded. "Let's go ask the person at that desk over there if there is anything we can do to help."

"Sounds good," he agreed with false cheer in his voice, before leading the way. He felt miserable though, as he realized he would have to tell her soon about his likely sentence to juvie – community service would be the least of his concerns, but it couldn't hurt. Doing good things was always good. Or so he hoped.

Again the thought occurred to him - it would be nice to put some good out into the world for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, this chapter was supposed to have Zoë get confronted, but it was pushed into the next due to length. The Hunter section got long, and the Frankie section only got added after the planning stages.
> 
> Also, BIG NEWS. I have planned out the entire rest of the story :) I know everything that happens, now all I have to do is get the words out!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Self-harm

**Don't Leave Me VII**

It was the seventh bathroom they checked where Frankie heard sobbing as she peeked her head through the door. Her heart clinched in her chest as she turned back to Winston. "Stay here…"

She walked in slowly, hearing each one of her footsteps and each sob that tore through the room. "Zoë?" she asked.

The sobbing dulled down to sniffles and that more than confirmed her suspicion. "Zoë? Is that you?" More silence, and Frankie's heart ached as she recalled memories of the past. "I know it's you Zoë… I remember the sounds of your cries last year. I want to help."

"Go away," Zoë croaked.

"You know I can't do that," Frankie said. She found the stall Zoë was in and placed her hands against the cold metal. It was locked. She saw Zoë's feet dancing nervously from where she sat on the toilet through the space under the door. "We used to be friends… I want to help you."

"I'm fine," Zoë said, but Frankie could tell from the cracks in her voice that she was anything but. `

"I know you're worried about Tristan and Grace, but you should be with your friends. We're stronger together," Frankie insisted.

"I have no friends."

Frankie blinked. "You have Winston."

"He just pities me," Zoë sobbed.

"That's not true. He cares about you. He's outside right now."

"He just wants to make sure I don't hurt myself… he doesn't care about me."

"He wouldn't be dating you if he didn't care about you."

"We broke up."

That hit Frankie as a shock. Winston hadn't mentioned that… That was a secondary concern though as she still had to address the original reason why she had chased after Zoë. "So Winston wants to stop you from hurting yourself? You admit it then? I saw the burn… and I was worried." She was careful not to mention what Winston had told her.

Zoë's sobbing stopped except for sniffles through a clogged nose. "It's not that bad, I promise."

"Hurting yourself is always bad," Frankie said. "Why don't you come out of there and let's talk. I want to help you. All of your friends want to help you."

"I don't…" Zoë stammered and paused for a moment. "I don't have any friends. I just have people I hurt. You know that better than most. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore."

Frankie heard a clicking sound. Once, twice, and then the sound of air being disintegrated. "Zoë, what are you doing?"

Zoë cried out, and Frankie felt terror shoot through her heart, and if she didn't know better she would have sworn she had a cinder block dropped on her chest. "Zoë? Zoë?" she cried.

"Go away!" Zoë yelled with a desperation that frightened Frankie to her core.

"We want to help," Frankie repeated. "Let us. We care about you. We want you to be happy."

"You hate me. You all hate me," Zoë retorted. Zoë cried out again, and it took all of Frankie's willpower to not amass her strength and push through the door. That wouldn't be of value with the way Zoë was feeling.

"We don't. We want to help," Frankie promised. "Yes, you've done bad things. We've all done bad things. Look at me this semester. I lost all my friends, everyone hated me, and I just wanted to die. But I talked to the people who cared about me, and we worked things out. They forgave me, and I learned how to be a better me. Don't you want to be a better Zoë?"

"I don't… I can't chase people away anymore. It hurts so much," Zoë cried. "Do you know what it's like to have the person you love look at you in disgust?"

"No, not exactly," Frankie murmured in response, but she couldn't help but think about Shay's face when Shay realized the severity of her actions. She may not love Shay, but hurting her friend made her feel as if she were stabbed in the gut herself. "I know what it's like to hurt someone I care about though… and I know how much better life is when we made up."

"I…" Zoë said, but she didn't say anything else.

"Do you think she will ever forgive you?" Frankie asked.

"I think they did…" Zoë murmured, then her voice changed to a harsh tone. "She? Did Winston tell you?"

"What? What do you mean?" Frankie asked.

"Don't act like you don't know?" Zoë hissed. "I'm a lesbian," she whispered.

Frankie blinked in shock. It was a surprise, but nothing as extreme as she suspected. It occurred to her that this might be the reason that Zoë was hurting herself, but it didn't quite make sense. She thought back to psychology class, and how they talked about how many gay teens felt like they would never find love. It was a fact she knew from her talks with Miles who at times felt that way himself – he was bi, she knew, but he felt the desperation due to his sexuality and many other reasons that pained her to know. She remembered that night in the storm when she hung out with Tristan for the first time as well…

"Being gay is not that bad… actually, it's not bad at all," Frankie corrected herself. "Tristan is your best friend. I'm sure he can help you through what you're feeling." She muttered 'fuck' under her breath as she realized her mistake.

"I already chased him away," Zoë cried through a self-depreciating laugh. "And now he's probably dead."

Frankie cringed at her mistake as she spoke. "Well you have me, and Winston, and Miles. Miles cares about you. You can support each other as you wait on Tristan. He's fine, I know it."

Zoë didn't respond as Frankie heard the sound of the tumbling toilet paper. Frankie heard a clatter on the ground, and a blue lighter bounce under the door way; she snatched it up without thinking.

She nodded to herself in triumph as she slipped the lighter into the waistband of her volleyball shorts. "I won't let you hurt yourself," she said kindly. She said each word slowly and with care. She wanted to make sure it was a sign of love, rather than an expression of control. "I'm here for you."

There was a long silence, and Frankie held her tongue as she let Zoë process her thoughts.

After a moment, she heard the sound of a latch and the door opened. Zoë fell into her arms, and Frankie pull her into a wordless embrace.

It was a first step at least.

* * *

"Well, that sucks," Hunter muttered as he and Yael walked away from the receptionist desk. "So how can we help now?" he asked.

The receptionist had been adamant that they sit down and mind their own business – if they wanted to volunteer, they would need months of training and to be properly registered. As annoying as that was, Hunter was glad to see he kept his cool; in fact, he felt no urge to rage against her at all.

"We could go to our fall back plan?" Yael suggested. "We can just talk to people?"

Hunter groaned. "I guess…" He looked over to where Shay and Lola sat. "We're in their grade, and I sort of know them through Frankie. We can go see how they're doing, maybe?"

"Sure," Yael agreed. "I don't know them well, but Lola always seemed nice, if kind of… you know. She loves all my apps though!" she cheered.

Hunter grinned at her excitement. It always made his heart dance until his lips were spread so far that he blushed as a natural result. He slid his hand into hers as they walked over to Shay and Lola.

"Hey… uhh…" Hunter greeted awkwardly as they approached.

Shay looked up to him with tired eyes. "Hey, Hunter. Yael, is it?" she asked.

Yael nodded.

"It's a… it's good to see you," Lola said as she looked at Hunter. "That you're better."

Hunter nodded awkwardly. "Yeah… I'm better-ish. How are you two doing? Frankie mentioned that your friend was on the bus."

"Tiny," Shay informed.

"Yeah, him. How are you holding up?"

"We haven't heard anything," Lola moaned. "How is Frankie?"

"Fine, I guess," Hunter said. "Jonah seems to be doing well, so she was more concerned about the two of you. She ran off randomly with Winston about 5 minutes before you two got here though."

"Hmm," Shay hummed. "Winston?"

"Please, give us Frankston," Lola begged. "Give us some good news today."

Hunter chuckled. "I'm pretty sure that she is dead set on Jonah right now. She probably went running after Zoë though. I don't see why, but whatever."

There was silence for a moment, before Lola gasped and Hunter saw a twinkle in her eyes.

"Are you two dating?" the pink-haired girl asked. "Oooooohhhhh. Look Shay, they're holding hands."

Hunter blushed wildly, and all the air rushed from his lungs as he looked to Yael who was crimson, refusing to look at the two girls. Hunter made eye contact with her, and they shared a nervous nod.

"Yeah, sorta," Hunter admitted as he looked back to Lola.

"Thank god," Shay said with a surprisingly amount of enthusiasm. "Frankie finally has someone to take on double dates other than us."

Lola exaggerated a sigh. "People were starting to think we were dating with how often Frankie dragged us along. Three times this week alone."

"Oh, god," Yael said with a hint of amusement in her voice. "I don't think I can get Hunter out of the house three times a week."

"Hey…" Hunter mocked offense. "I'd always leave the house for you."

"Awww, they're so cute," Lola gushed as she grabbed onto Shay's arm. "I can't wait to see you and Tiny like that. And I'll get that Jake guy and we can quadruple date!"

Hunter groaned, wondering how he got in so deep over his head, only to have his attention grabbed by yet another gasp for Lola.

"Oh, there's Frankie!"

* * *

Lola crashed into her like a wrecking ball, but Frankie didn't mind. It felt good to have her friend back in her life. She hugged Lola, and then embraced Shay as well who stood more reserved behind their excitable friend.

"I'm glad to see you're both here," Frankie said. "Any news on Tiny?"

"No," Shay said with a disheartened spirit.

"I see… we haven't heard anything about Tristan or Grace either. And Zig, to my knowledge, though I haven't been paying attention to what is going on with him." Frankie paused for a moment. "I really hate to leave you, but I need to help Zoë right now… yeah, I know. Sounds awful, but she needs my help. Let me know if you need me?" she asked.

Shay and Lola nodded, and Frankie took that as her 'okay' to go. She saw Hunter and Yael a few feet behind the girls, and gave them a smile. She found Miles where she expected, sitting near Maya and Jonah. She wondered if Miles and Jonah got along well. They hadn't met in anything more than passing yet, and she made a mental note that they were double dating as soon as Tristan was out of the hospital.

"Miles," she asked as she took a seat near him. "I need to talk to you."

He blinked, and shook himself to awareness from whatever daze he was in. "Yeah?" he asked.

"Can you talk with Zoë? You're friends with her, right? And I think you can help her with what she is going through…"

Miles chuckled. "I tend to be bad at helping people, but maybe. What is she going through?"

"She feels alone… and…" she considered telling Miles about Zoë's secret, but figured it was best to let her handle it. "Let's just say she is going through some things you went through."

They both looked over to where Zoë and Winston stood by the door.

"Don't you think her boyfriend would be a bigger help?" Miles asked.

"Hardly," Frankie said. "Let's just say they broke up."

Miles twisted his head in surprise. "Hmm, I did not see that coming… well I did, but I thought they had passed the stage where they would break up. Zoë seemed so lonely, and I thought she was willing to be with Winston. They were kind of cute together."

"I suppose," Frankie chuckled, laughing at the irony of her newly-formal rival and her ex together. "Regardless, can you talk to her? I tried, but you are much closer to her than I am these days."

"Yeah," Miles said. "All of our nudes were consensual."

Frankie groaned and fought the urge to retch at Miles' humor.

Miles chuckled at her reaction. "Anyway, I'll keep an eye on her. I'll let Winston and her finish their talk, and then go on over."

Frankie nodded, satisfied at the decision. She looked over to Jonah's who's eyes lit up as he saw her looking over.

"My moms just called," Jonah said. "They're going to pick me up soon. They're making me come home for dinner, but said I can come back afterward. Want to come? We'll have to go by the school to get my car, and we can drop by your place to get some clothes and stuff."

Frankie nodded in consideration, and turned to Miles. "Will you be okay?"

"Yeah," her brother said. "I'll be fine. Bring me some clothes too I guess. See if Hunter wants a ride – who knows where the hell our parents are, but I'm not leaving Tristan."

"I thought not," she acknowledged. "I doubt Hunter will leave you alone. He's like obsessed with you right now. He wants to be there for you like you were for him."

"I noticed that too," Miles said as he looked over to Hunter who was abnormally close to Yael as they whispered to one another. "At least he has a distraction from all this shit."

"Yeah," Frankie agreed. "I need to go tell everyone I'll be back in a few hours… perfect timing," she added as Winston and Zoë sat down next to them. "You two, I have to go for a few hours. Jonah's _moms_ are picking us up," she said, emphasizing the word Zoë needed to hear. "We're going to get some clothes and food. Take care of Miles for me."

Winston nodded, and Miles let loose a sardonic chuckle. Frankie made sure to lock eyes with Zoë and give her a reassuring nod.

"You ready?" she asked Jonah.

"Yeah, they'll be here any minute," he replied.

"I have to go let Shay and Lola know, then we can head out."

She had a moment where everything froze around her as she approached her friends. Only now was it hitting her that she would be meeting her boyfriend's parents for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With this chapter, "part 1" is done. The next 4-5 chapters will be distinctly different, as will the 4-5 after that. Then the story will wind down across another 4-5 chapters until the bittersweet conclusion. So, guys, we are roughly 1/3 done ... and by that, probably 1/5 as my chapters get longer haha!
> 
> Also, I hope you like Frankie, because she is the star for the next 4-5 chapter chunk. After that, she will settle into a support role as her plot will be mostly complete (think Miles in 14A vs 14B).


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: Sorry for long delay. I was detailing the outline, planning the sequel, went to the mall on Thursday, and then Pride on Saturday. Busy set of days for me, plus some procrastination. A shorter chapter as a break from the last two monsters. I intended on 1400-1700 from the start, but the last two were near 2500.

**Don't Leave Me VIII**

Jonah's mothers pulled up as soon as they exited the front entrance of the hospital. Frankie forced a smile on her face as she looked up into Jonah's eyes. She wasn't afraid of meeting his parents, but she was nervous - the non-fearful, yet still jittery kind of nervous. Meeting your significant other's parents was always such a huge step forward in a relationship... and Jonah meeting her mother hadn't worked out in the best way imaginable. Though, perhaps a road trip hadn't been the best way to alleviate that.

Her heart was thumping in her chest as they neared the car, but she refused to let it show. She put on her cheeriest of faces, well-practiced during all her years as a trophy child, and prepared to greet Jonah's parents in the best way that she could.

She nodded in gratitude as Jonah opened the door for her. _Here goes nothing._

"Hey," she greeted as she climbed into the car while her eyes followed Jonah who was walking around the back of the car and to the other side's door.

"Oh, hey dear!" one of Jonah's mothers greeted. "Oh, this is the girl our son has been talking so much about!" the other cheered.

Frankie laughed nervously, but it was easy to keep a smile on her face. They seemed to like her already, which could only be a plus. She looked over to Jonah who had just climbed into the car and was closing the door behind him; he was blushing, and only now did she realize his mother's words. Jonah had been talking to his parents about her. A lot.

"I'm so happy to see you well. Pam and I were in a panic when we heard about the bus crash. We didn't even know you were on it. I swear, Jonah, I would have died if we lost you," one of his mother's muttered.

Jonah returned his love, and Frankie took a moment to take in the situation. The one who spoke was the driver, and the other was named Pam. Pam was a blonde, late 30s woman, and she looked as if she were the stepmom in the relationship. She didn't look at all like Jonah, but her face seemed kind. The other women was most likely Jonah's biological mother – unless Jonah was adopted, as an unreliable rumor at school seemed to think.

"So, to the school first, right Jonah?" his mother asked as she drove out of the hospital parking lot.

"Yeah, we'll get my car and meet you for dinner at home," Jonah confirmed.

"And don't you think to be a moment late," Pam chided lovingly over her shoulder. "Janet will beat you in with the frying pan if you are."

Jonah chuckled in response, and Frankie was happy to see that he was close to his parents. She had never been close enough with her parents to joke like that – well, at least it seemed like a joke – and she remembered not believing her friends at school or the TV shows she watched as a kid where parents and their children actually enjoyed one another's company. It was nice to see how loved he was by his parents, and she knew it was what made Jonah so caring towards her.

Oh, and his mother's name was Janet. Her parents may not have been as loving towards her as Jonah's, but they did teach her to listen. To make notes. To gather information, and to use it later. It wasn't the love she probably would have preferred, but it was something. The way that her family was had been eating her up all year, but now that she was with Jonah, things were looking up. It was nice to have someone care.

"Yo, Franks?" Jonah asked as he nudged her shoulder to awaken her from her daze. "We're at the school."

* * *

Frankie stoked her hand over the hood of Jonah's car as she walked around to the passenger door. Meeting his parents had been nice, but it was too short a ride to get to know them, and that was without her thinking herself off into a reverie. She looked forward to getting to know them better over dinner.

It had been a few weeks since she had been near his car – it crossed her mind that Jonah was worried that she might steal it again, but she let logic take over rather than paranoid fear. Not trusting and seeing the worst in people was not much of a Jonah thing to do.

She smiled at Jonah as she opened her door and took her seat. She noticed that Jonah was moving slowly, and when he placed his hands on the steering wheel they were bouncing and dancing almost like jittery rabbits. He saw her looking at him and suddenly his hands were gripping the wheel so tightly that all the blood left his hand until his fingers were as ghostly white as one of her brothers – she shook that thought from her mind as soon as it appeared and asked the first thing that came to her mind.

"Are you afraid?" she asked. She blinked and found her hand suspended in the air half way between them, uncertain of whether she should put a hand on him in comfort.

Jonah shook his head slowly and loosened his hands on the wheel before slowly lowering them to his sides. "No," he said. He voice was on one hand solid and strong, but on the other there was something wavering in his tone that she wasn't accustomed to in him. Some, including Shay and Miles, interpreted his normal tone as arrogant, but she saw it as strong and confidant, and it comforted her. This barely perceivable shakiness in his voice was new.

"It's okay, you know," she said cautiously as she accelerated her thoughts to catch up with her words. "You were in a huge crash a few hours ago… if you don't want to drive, I understand. I can drive if you want… or we can walk if you were like suddenly hit by this fear of being in a car."

Jonah shook his head again. "No, no. It's not that. I conquered my fear of being in cars a long time ago."

That piqued Frankie's interest, but Jonah turned away. She made a mental note to ask about it later. She couldn't really imagine Jonah having a phobia of cars, but he seemed confident that he conquered his fear of being in one long ago. What had happened to make him have that fear in the first place? It was one of many things she had to learn about him, but that could wait until later.

"Are you sure?" Frankie asked. "I wouldn't judge if you were, you know? You're brave enough as is, and we can all have a moment of weakness."

Jonah chuckled. "No, Frankie. I promise, I'm fine. Just had some flash backs from a few years ago, nothing that will bother me now, really."

Frankie nodded. "Good," she said through a sly smile as she placed her hand on his shoulder. "I would hate to think that such a hero wouldn't be able to tell his girlfriend if something was bothering him."

"Hero now, am I?" Jonah laughed.

"Of course," Frankie said as she leaned closer. "You were in a crash, you walked away without any real harm, and you saved several people. You're a hero… and you're my hero too, you know? You stuck with me all semester. You always knew the right thing to say to help me. I wouldn't be here today, as good as I am, without you. So, yes, you're a hero."

Jonah smirked and leaned down towards her lips in a kiss. She let herself melt into it, and as Jonah slid his hand down her shoulder, she noticed that his grasp was back to normal. Whatever falter he had, he came out stronger.

He really was her hero.

* * *

Zig Novak closed his eyes as he looked at the door in front of him. It felt so far away from where he was seated, and on the other side of the door was the waiting room reserved for all of those involved in the crash and their loved ones. He wasn't sure that he was ready, and he could barely handle that thought.

"Are you okay?" a nurse asked him.

Zig opened his eyes, and then blinked away the bright white lights of the hospital halls. "I… I guess. Just nervous. I don't think my family will come…"

He winced as he saw the look of pain cross the nurse's face. _Yeah_ , he wanted to say. _I'm that unwanted_.

"Well," the nurse said slowly as if she was working out the best way to word her thoughts. "There was this blonde girl asking about you. Zigmund Novak, right? I'm sure you have someone out there for you.'

Zig released a shuddering breath from his lungs that he wasn't sure he had been holding – in fact, he knew he wasn't. He was breathing normally until the thought of Maya crossed his mind, then suddenly his lungs were full of stale air. Maya was worried about him. Maya wanted to see him. Maya wanted him. The thoughts were as refreshing as the cool air he sucked into his lungs.

Hell, Maya was alive and well enough to be worried about him.

He grinned as he put his hands on the wheels of his chair, and tried to remember the quick lesson the nurse had given him on how to propel himself forward. His fingers halted as they wrapped around the wheel, and they froze with his heart when he remembered that he was in a wheel chair. It was new. It was a fresh wound on his mind. It was painful – well, in his heart. It wasn't as if he could feel his legs.

He told his brain to move his fingers until they thawed, then yelped as he caught them in the spokes of the wheel as he tried to push himself forward. He slumped in his chair, and looked up to the nurse. "Can you uh… roll me out?"

She nodded and put what looked like a forced smile onto her face.

Zig resigned himself to being pushed around, and allowed himself a moment to sulk. Might as well get used to being a cripple… Cry now, be strong later. He was going to have to put on a fake face for Maya anyway.

For all he knew, her injuries could be worse than his.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, this chapter was supposed to have 3 scenes. But the first scene was something I was dreading and planned on writing 300-400 words.... but when I wrote it I really enjoyed it and that single scene became a 1600 word chapter in itself. So, I hope you enjoy this one :)

 

**Don't Leave Me IX**

Jonah didn't live far from the school. The time flew by as they drove, hands intertwined in front of the gearshift, just above where Jonah kept spare change and candy wrappers. Frankie let thoughts of their relationship dance in her mind like wildfire. She had so many feelings for him, and those thoughts twirled in tangled messes until she couldn't think about anything other than his strong yet loving grip around her hand.

She couldn't help but compare him to Winston. Jonah was the fire that burnt away her feelings for Winston. A thought of remorse crossed her mind as she recalled the hurt look on Winston's face last semester after she turned him down for the Snow Ball, but it was inevitable. When she realized that Jonah was the one who left flowers for her, her heart soared and left Winston behind. Winston had always wanted to fabricate a scenario be her hero, but Jonah did it without even trying.

She was grateful she had these thoughts to distract her as they arrived. It was better than driving herself into a frantic frizzy with thoughts of worry. His mothers seemed nice anyway.

Frankie smiled as they pulled into the driveway, admiring his home. It was small and quaint, and it was the home that she always wanted for herself one day rather than the overly spacious mansion she grew up in; she could claim a second and third bedroom if she really wanted to, and her parents would scarcely question it beyond some artificial message of not using more than she needs.

Jonah led the way down the patio after they got out of the car. Frankie found the two porch chairs cute, and she would love to sit out on the front porch with a morning coffee and watch a dog play in the lawn. Her mother always kept their porch ornamental rather than for use, and they were forbidden to use it. Frankie knew it was crazy, but just for a moment she imagined a life married to Jonah with a cute little home with a spacious front patio, chairs and coffee and tea with a little puppy running and barking around the yard... she shut down that thought immediately. The last time she had imagined those thoughts had been with Winston, and she still felt a tear in her heart from their breakup.

She followed Jonah into his home, eyes scouring the foyer for details. She paused for a moment to stroke her finger across the glass of a picture frame that held a picture of Jonah and his mothers... hmm, was that a little brother? Jonah looked about 14 in this picture, and the boy about 10. Did that mean Jonah had a 12 year old brother? She looked up to Jonah, then followed his lead in kicking off her shoes under the ottoman besides the table that held the picture. She would have to ask him about it later.

She followed Jonah throughout his home, and as soon as she passed the threshold out of the foyer she smelled the succulent scents of dinner. "Hey again," she greeted as they passed into the dining. Pam was setting the table while Janet was glaring at the younger boy who she assumed was Jonah's brother.

"Hey, dear, so nice for you to join us," Pam said over her shoulder as she returned to the kitchen.

Frankie chuckled as she saw Janet slap at the boy's hands as he went for his plate. "Wait for you mother," she chastised, though Frankie felt nothing but love in her voice. "Sit, sit," she said to Frankie, so she took the seat closet to Jonah hoping that it was the right one.

Pam returned to the room and they ate. Jonah introduced her to his brother, who was named Alex, and was in fact 13 and small for his age, much to the younger boy's chagrin. They asked her about her family, and she told them about her brothers. Alex was fascinated by her having a twin. Pam was the one who made the connection that she was the daughter of the mayor, and went on and on about how much she loved the initiatives her father had placed in the city. Frankie held her tongue on her true thoughts of her father; it wouldn't be fit to let her boyfriend's family know about her less than ideal home life. Jonah didn't know either, and suddenly, she wanted more than anything to be in a kind family like this one.

"So, Frankie?" Janet asked as dinner was dying down. "What do you want to do in the future?”

That made Frankie pause. What did she want to do? “I’m not sure honestly. I make good grades, I can sing, I’m athletic, I like horses. I’m not sure what I want to do for my future though… but I still have two years, so I’m not too worried.” She felt ashamed to say it, but it was the truth. Shay would mutter something about her flying off on a carpet made of money, but she knew that her friend wouldn’t hold it against her for long. Shay was always perceptive to the feelings of others, and she would see how much her lack of purpose in life hurt her.

“Plenty of time,” Pam cheered. “I don’t think I settled on what I was going to do with my life until after college. You may not think so, but being a secretary with the city hall is utterly fulfilling.”

“Ah,” Frankie murmured. “That explains how you are so familiar with my father.”

“That it is!” Pam agreed. She thanked her wife as Janet collected her plates, and they all stood up from the table. “Jonah, make sure to check Alex’s math homework before you and Frankie head back to the hospital.”

Jonah nodded. “Got it ‘ma,” he yelled over his shoulder as he beckoned for Frankie to follow. She slacked behind Jonah as he jogged up the stairs and to his room. It didn’t surprise her that he had the typical scarce boy’s room that she often saw on TV – her brother’s rooms bordered on such design if not for the sheer money their mother poured into their spaces.

“I’ll take a quick shower, then change clothes before checking my brother’s homework. Feel free to chill on my bed or look through my stuff as you please,” Jonah said before closing the door to the bathroom behind him.

Frankie fell back on his and let her eyes close to the world around her. Thoughts of a future with Jonah danced through her mind. She rolled over and buried her face in his comforter and inhaled his scent. She was surprised that Jonah kept his bed so neat, and she couldn’t help but wonder when they would get in his bed together.

Jonah’s speaking snapped her awake, and she was surprised that she had somehow managed to fall asleep in the span of what felt like five seconds.

“Fell asleep, beautiful?” he asked.

Frankie forced a smile onto her face as she rolled onto her back. “I guess so?” she asked herself. She looked at Jonah who was freshly showered and already clad in a fresh pair of pants.

“You’re beautiful when you’re sleeping,” Jonah said with a smile before grabbing two t-shirts off his desk. “The blue one, or the orange one?” he asked.

“How about neither?”  Frankie asked, then blushed at the implication. “I meant, you don’t normally wear t-shirts.” She trailed off with a nervous giggle.

“Ohhh,” Jonah chuckled as he climbed over Frankie on the bed and planted a kiss on her lips. “You already told me not to wear one.”

“I did,” Frankie whispered as she met his lips in another kiss. She stroked her hand up his still shower-moistened back, and entwined her other hand in his hair, grateful that he had finally dumped the faux-hawk. She moaned into his lips as he pressed down on her with a kiss. She was about to wrap her legs around his waist and never let him go when he pulled away.

He stood up behind the bed, and she was reaching for his pants when he spoke. “I’m going to go check Alex’s homework now.”

Frankie froze in place, and fell back on the bed hoping that her actions were lost on him. She nodded and took a deep breath, exhausted from their short make out. She saw Jonah throw on a white tee and a button up before leaving the room, and she let her eyes continue wondering after he left. There was a bookshelf that had more books than she expected, and a handful of pictures.

She sighed as she rolled off the bed and to her feet to approach the bookshelf. She chuckled as the books confirmed her suspicion that Jonah would read random philosophy. It made sense for someone who was as deep a thinker as him, and certainly explained his frequent intellectual arrogance. Beyond Good and Evil. _How fitting_ , she chuckled.

She saw the pictures up close and found it curious. There was Jonah with his mothers and brother, and Jonah was holding a baby swaddled in a pink blanket. She picked up the picture and gave it a closer look. Jonah never mentioned a sister, but he also never mentioned a brother. She wondered what made Jonah keep so many secrets – it surely wasn’t an intentional desire to be the mystery guy.

Jonah’s word startled her from behind, and she almost dropped the picture. “Ready to go?”

She took a breath to calm herself at the surprise, then placed the picture back on the shelf. “Yeah, was just looking through your book shelf.”

Jonah looked at the picture she was holding, and was quiet for a moment. “Yeah, don’t worry about that. Just a niece. Let’s get out of here,” he said curtly

Frankie nodded and followed Jonah out of the room, wondering how bad his brother’s homework had been to put him in a poor mood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been a bit sick, so apologies for any errors. I catch 90% of them though :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. I really dreaded writing this chapter but after writing it, I have no idea why. I had SO much fun writing it :D

 

**Don't Look Back X**

Jonah lived about as far from her home as he did from Degrassi, so the ride wasn't too long. It was the perfect time to ask the question that had been eating at her for months. Even before they dated, she knew that Jonah was the secretive sort. It had been a source of contention in her friend group for a time, but it had passed; though, it never stopped living in the back of her mind.

She placed her hand on Jonah's arm as he drove. "So, why didn't you ever tell me about Alex?" she asked.

Jonah hummed a little. "I… I just don't care to talk about myself much."

"Oh, your dark and secret past?" Frankie inquired in jest. "Just how many of those rumors are true?"

Jonah shook his head without answer.

Frankie frowned. "You can tell me, you know? We are together now, after all?" A pause. "Your home life seemed fairly normal, so I doubt your past is going to be too shocking. Plus, you know tons of about my family." Another pause. "Was it drugs? Like they say? You know I won't judge. Miles had some issues last semester, and I was by his side the whole time."

Jonah sighed and turned to look out at her - eyes half on the road, and half on her face to study her delicate features. "Do you really want to know?"

"Yes," Frankie stated with a resolute nod.

"Well, it all started when I got in a car accident with my dad... as you may imagine, it has been weighing on my mind all day. In fact, it's the answer to your question earlier. Why am I perfectly fine being in a car after such an awful accident? As I said, I conquered that fear long ago."

Frankie nodded to let him know she had heard and listened. It was all she could do, really. She knew from her own struggles last semester that sometimes all someone needed was a kind ear to listen and do their best to understand. _How the roles have shifted_ , she thought. She would let him monologue, and see if there were any pieces that needed to be picked up afterward.

"I'll tell you this now, the rumors of me being involved with drugs are quite true. You can go ask Zig Novak if you like, though from what I hear he's hardly more interested in carrying around that chunk of the past than I am. But yeah, I did drugs. That's the bulk of my "dark past" as you like to call it. So, how about I start from the beginning... it might help for me to get this off my chest after everything that happened today."

"Of course. Talk all you need to," Frankie encouraged. "I'm here for you."

Jonah let out a sigh that was more agreement and relief, than one of reluctance. "So, as I said, my dad and I were out and about. I was probably 12. I think we were going to the mall to buy a video game or something, or maybe it was a sports game. Neither was my cup of tea, but it was nice seeing my dad. My parents split up when I was like 7, so my dad wasn't around much. He was never fond of my mom's current choice of partner. He wasn't a great guy or anything, but he treated me well. Can't say he lived long enough for me to hate him like most people." Jonah paused for a moment. "I'm rambling, aren't I?"

"Hardly," Frankie chuckled. "I like to hear you talk. You talk about yourself so rarely. Plus, I can't say your voice is the least sexy in the world."

Jonah laughed at that. "I try. So, anyway, we were out and about and we got hit. Blunt, but that's about all that happened. One minute I was fine and rubbing my hands over the air vent to cool off - it was a hot summer - and the next thing I knew, the world was spinning and the heat shot up ten notches. When everything returned to normal, well as normal as can be, the car was upside down. I never saw my dad die or anything. When I came to, he was already dead. I didn't even try to shake him awake, I just knew."

He paused for a moment and focused his eyes on the road. Frankie took the opportunity to tighten her grip on his arm ever so slightly to remind him that she was there.

"Best to not repeat an accident, I suppose, while recounting a tale of one. I doubt the hospital has room for us anyway," Jonah muttered, trying to provide some morbid cheer. "As I was saying, I knew he was dead, and didn't bother checking. All I knew was that I was in a car, upside down and it was hot. More hot than the sun could possibly make it. I've seen the movies by then. I knew when a car crashed that things caught on fire and gas started to leak. And I could smell the gas as well. I tried to move, and only then did I feel pain. Nothing fatal, obviously, but my body was definitely hurt from being tossed around. I managed to squeeze through the broken glass and bent frame where the window used to be. I was smaller back then before the gangs... spoilers... but I made it through, and laid down on the grass until help arrived. The story of how I got over the car accident isn't too interesting, really. I knew I had to do it, so I did. It was terrifying, but I got over it."

He paused. "So yeah, I can't say I'm too traumatized by the bus crash today. It was nothing compared to the one 4 years ago... plus, I was hardly injured today. I'm no hero Frankie. I just happened to luck out and not get hurt, and have enough experience surviving a crash to know what to do. I was sitting next to Tristan, so I dragged him out first. And then I saw Grace and did the same. By then, the ambulances started arriving. I'm not a hero, I just did what I could."

Frankie nodded before speaking her thoughts. "And when Grace and Tristan wake up, or are released or whatever, they'll thank you. You didn't have to help them, but you did. You've done a lot of good, so don't convince yourself you haven't. I've told you before, and I will mean it forever. I wouldn't have made it through this semester without you," Frankie said without leaving room for question. "You're a hero to me, and that's all that matters."

Jonah smiled at her as he pulled into park in front of her house. He peeled her hand off his arm and entwined his fingers with hers. "If you insist," he said as he gave her a peck on the lips. "Now, let’s go get what we're here for, and I can fill you in on my oh-so secret past."

* * *

 

Zig inhaled and then exhaled a deep breath as the nurse pushed him out into the waiting room. He was terrified that anyone who was there for him would pity him for being in the wheelchair, but he was even more frightened that no one would be there at all. His family was as likely to show as he was to get struck by lightning at this very moment, tucked away safely in a hospital. All of the people he would call a friend were on the bus with him: Tiny, Grace and Maya, if she was letting him call her that at the moment. Well, there was Esme too, but he doubted she would give a flying fuck about him without his legs, not that she would show up in the first place.

His eyes scoured the room as he looked for anyone he would recognize. The first thing to catch his eyes were was the neon pink hair of Lola, and that was a good sign if anything. Next to her was Shay, so that meant they were here for Tiny. At the very least, that meant that his best friend wasn't confirmed dead. Guilt coursed through him as he remembered leaving Tiny next to him bleeding as he crawled on hands and dead-weight legs to Maya in some vain hope to save her through CPR. He waved as he got Lola's eyes, and it almost shocked him with the speed at which they essentially teleported to him.

"Zig!" Shay greeted. Her voices was strong, adamant that he devote his attention to her. "I'm glad you're okay." She paused as she looked him up and down, and visually fought from slapping herself as she saw the chair he was bound.

"Yeah, yeah, how's Tiny? Is he alive?" Lola asked.

Zig had to fight the dark chuckle that simmered in his lungs. It was so very appropriate of Tiny's two "friends." Shay was strong and responsible, always trying to do the right thing, and Lola who was blunt and to the point with her thoughts, though kind-hearted in the best that she could be.

Zig shook his head. "I don't know. I haven't heard from him since I woke up in the ambulance. He was next to me on the bus when I was giving Maya CPR. He was alive then, at least. Is Maya okay? Have you heard anything from her?"

Shay sighed, and Zig saw her ball her firs into what could pass for a wrecking ball on the worst of days. She sighed as she unclenched her hand. "Yeah, Maya seems to be fine. She's..." she paused as she looked across the room, only to have an absence fill her eyes as she looked around the room. "She's snuck up beside you," she said slowly.

Zig's heart soared as he turned his attention away from Shay. He didn't have time to think about how hurt she was without her lover, or the unintended jealousy she felt at seeing Maya and him reunited. He felt his heart skip a beat as he saw her. Blonde curls a mess, but face as fierce and Maya as ever. Her wrist was in a cast, but that seemed to be the worst of her memories.

"Maya," he said. The words came out in what felt like every day talk, but he knew every ounce of love he ever felt for her was dancing his voice.

"Zig," she returned. Her eyes met his, and they both knew without asking that it was okay as she fell into his arms in a hug. "I'm so happy you're okay. I thought... we thought... we were all so afraid of everything."

He closed his eyes shut as he held her to block out the world around him as the love of his live melted into his embrace. He wouldn't fool himself though. She was happy to see him alive and well, and maybe a little more, but he wouldn't make the mistake again of assuming that his past actions were forgiven. He took a breath to smell Maya, and he was hit with a fresh round of emotions so strong he didn't even acknowledge the less than pleasant smells that clung to her. Memories of the bus were best forgotten in their embrace.

The hug lasted for what felt like an eternity as he opened his eyes. Lola was putting on as much of a smile as she could at their reunion, despite the pain etched on her face. Shay was crying quiet tears, but all anger and jealousy left her face to be left with despair. Behind Maya were Zoe and Miles, and that Winston kid they were both friends with. He smiled at Zoe despite their recent conflict, and she gave him a shaky upturn of her lips in return. Their eyes crossed for a moment, and they knew now was not the time for anger and hate. He saw Miles as well who nodded at him in such a way that said he was happy to see him; then Miles turned away and looked towards the door he came out of, and Zig realized that he was itching to pull a Lola and beg for every last drop of information he had on Tristan. That well was as dry as his information on Tiny.

Maya pulled away as she stepped back towards Miles, and Zig took another moment to take in all the people around him. All of them might not be there for him per se, but they were all happy to see him alive in some way. And that was more than he ever expected.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delays. Been feeling kind of down this week :/ 
> 
> In other news, I watched the entirety of Jessica Jones, and that is spawning a story idea... and I started reading Game of Thrones.

**Don't Leave Me XI**

The crowd of people that had gathered around Zig eventually dissipated. Lola and Shay returned to their chairs; Zoë and Winston stood off near a vending machine, though Zig couldn't even begin to think about what those two had in common; Maya cleared some chairs out of the way as Miles wheeled him over to a corner where he saw her purse sitting in a chair.

"I'll leave the two of you to… you know," Miles said as he positioned Zig opposite where Maya was sitting earlier.

"No wait," Maya said, hands lightly grasping at Miles' arms. "Stay."

They shared a look that made Zig's heart roar with anger, but he didn't speak up. There was no point. Maya didn't want him anyway, so they might as well pity him together. She may have been happy to see him alive, but his heart told him that was the extent of it.

Miles took a seat next to Maya and looked between the two of them, waiting for one of them to speak first. Zig played with his hands as his eyes followed Miles'. Maya's gaze was in her lap.

"So..." Miles muttered after some time. "How's your situation?" he asked, eyeing Zig's chair.

Zig frowned. "What do you mean?" He clinched his fist as he spoke, not sure if he wanted to punch Miles in the face for existing, or himself. He hated the way his voice sounded. It was pathetic. No wonder they all pitied him. He was already worthless, but without his legs he couldn't even be a _walking_ ball of nothing.

Miles gave him a shaky smile in response. "I just meant… is it permanent? Or just to help you through the next few days or week or something?"

Zig glared at Miles. He didn't know why he was so mad at the other guy. They had been friendly for over a year now, and Zig knew there were no traces of ill will left between them.

"I can't feel my legs at all," Zig nearly spat, but he kept undeserved anger out of his voice for what little friendship they had. He ignored Maya's gasp, not wanting to see the look on her face. She always wanted to help, but he didn't want to be one of her projects again.

"I see," Miles said more to himself than anything. He paused for a moment as he looked Zig up and down. "Nothing at all?" he asked as he placed his hand on Zig's knee.

"Just because I can't feel it doesn't mean that I want you to touch me, Miles," Zig said, more annoyed than angry.

"I understand," Miles acknowledged. "Did the doctor's tell you anything else?"

"Umm?" Zig wondered blankly.

"Paralysis? Spinal? Is it your head or your nerves? I don't even know what I'm asking, to be honest," Miles groaned as he shook his head in bewilderment. "Can you feel your dick?"

"… I haven't check," Zig said, looking around to see if anyone heard, and then at Maya. "I… uhh… why do you fucking care anyway?"

"Is caring so bad?" Miles retorted kindly. "Maybe I care about you? Maybe I know what it's like to want someone to care when you're obviously hurting." His eyes darkened and he tilted his head and spoke with a tone that dug into Zig's skull. "Maybe I'm just gathering information in case the same thing happened to Tristan."

Zig frowned. "Well… thanks."

"Don't worry, I'm not going to be one of those to pity you," Miles said as he gave Zig another pat on the leg. "I'll treat you the same shitty way as always, I'm sure."

Zig chuckled despite himself. "As long as you provide the alcohol – and by that, I mean vodka. None of that whiskey crap."

"I do have that fake ID to try out," Miles agreed. "Not as if your legs were useful if you drank right anyway."

Zig scoffed, but nodded his agreement to Miles. He turned his attention to Maya who had been sitting quietly since she heard the news. He wanted to reach out and touch her hair. He wanted to make her feel better in any way that he could. But he wouldn't be able to… he was going to have to let her go. She'd been proving all year that she was better off without him anyway.

"Miles," he said to get his friend's attention. His tone was grave. He could tell it from the way Miles looked at him with shock in his eyes and a quiver in his chest. He was even more shocked to see Maya look up from her lap with a fresh fear in her eyes.

"Miles," he repeated. "Maya," he said as well when he met her eyes for a moment before leaning back in his chair and looking up to the blinding light of the ceiling.

"The doctors can't say if I will ever walk again. All they know is that I will never be the same. If I walk, I'll never run. If I run, I'll never dance. Not that it matters - I'll likely never stand again."

He closed his eyes to block out the bright lights of the ceiling, and let himself fall into nothingness.

* * *

"My mom shouldn't be home, but be ready to hide if she is," Frankie said over her shoulder as she led the way through the courtyard and to the steps that led into her home. Jonah's footsteps were quiet behind her, so she looked back to notice him trailing behind.

"Are you okay?" she asked. Her eyes crossed over his hand that was gripping his side, and now that that they had to travel a good distance she noticed that he was walking with something approaching a limp.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Jonah muttered as he caught up. "It's not as bad as it looks."

"Should I… do you need anything?" Frankie asked.

"It's fine, I promise. They released me, didn't they? The drugs they gave me wore off a bit, but I'll be fine."

Frankie nodded and turned back to the stairs before another thought occurred to her. "Will you be able to make it up the steps?"

"Yeah," Jonah stated, but Frankie couldn't help but notice him wincing as he took the stairs. He was sluggish. Not dangerously slow, but enough where she knew she would have to keep an eye on him for the next few days.

Inside, she offered Jonah a drink but he refused, and they headed upstairs to her room. She kept an eye on him, noticing a sign of pain etch across his face on each step.

"Wait in here," she said as they passed by her room. "Going to grab my brothers' things." Jonah murmured something of an affirmative.

She went for Hunter's room first, and shuddered as she walked in, feeling her nose nearly crawl into her eye sockets at the smell. God, she would have to make sure her useless twin learned to make his room smell passably if he were going to be dating now. She resigned herself to her fate as she headed to his closet. She retrieved a white t-shirt, and assumed he had the matching black jacket in Miles' car. She grabbed a pair of pants and closed her eyes as she fished a pair of underwear from the shelf. A thought occurred to her to grab an extra shirt before she went to the bathroom to grab his toothbrush and tooth paste, and then wrapped them in the spare shirt.

She went to Miles room next, appreciating that her older brother was cleanly. She repeated the process of grabbing clothes and toiletries before tossing them on his bed. She grabbed Miles' backpack which he always kept on the floor at the foot of his bed, and opened it before discarding the books inside. After emptying the bag, she tossed in the clothes, zipped the backpack up and carried it to her room.

"I'm back!" she cheered as she entered her room and tossed Miles' backpack to the floor. Jonah was laying on her bed now, much like she had in his. She approached to see his eyes closed, but she knew he was awake from the smirk on his lips.

She decided to let him rest as she went to the bathroom to brush her teeth and to quickly tidy up her hair into something more presentable than the now mangled pony tail she had for volleyball. She returned to the room to find Jonah where she left him.

"I'm going to change now," she said, as an idea formed in her mind. Jonah's eyes opened as he looked in her direction. "Don't look… or do if you want," she chirped over her shoulder as she turned towards the drawer she kept her shirts and shorts in. She wouldn't be changing her undergarments either way, so it wouldn't hurt for him to look. In fact, she wanted him to. After he pulled away from her in his room she was concerned, but not overly so; though a part of her still wanted to know she was able to raise his interest.

She slipped off her shirt first, and imagined Jonah's eyes bearing into her shoulder blades along with the chilly air as she pulled a burgundy shirt with flowers on it over her shoulders.

Her nerves were dancing as she considered taking off her gym shorts. It was going to happen eventually – plus, Jonah did say he wanted to see her butt. The whole school already did, much to her chagrin. She gulped and took the plunge by dropping her shorts to her ankles and kicking them aside and slipping on a pair of denim suspenders.

She turned back to Jonah who hadn't moved much at all.

"You have pretty hair," he said.

Frankie blushed as she approached the bed. "And you have pretty lips," she whispered as she crawled on top of him. She stroked her fingers over his chest and up to his neck, before brushing her fingers over his lips and placing a kiss on his lips.

"So do you," Jonah purred as they pulled apart.

She met her palms in his and pinned them against the sheets as she looked into his eyes. She saw something in them. It was like a sparkle. A sparkle of love, she hoped, as she pressed her lips against his again. It felt nice to have someone stare at her with such love. It was new. It made her feel like she was on top of the world.

She untwined her hands from Jonah's and pulled back until she was straddling his waist. A smile like she never felt before spread on her face. She looked down at Jonah from above, and placed her hands on his chest. "You're my hero, you know?"

"You have mentioned that," Jonah chuckled as he traveled his hands up her sides.

"Are you going to take me away into the sunset," Frankie asked.

"Do you want me to carry you off into the sunset? Like a princess, I take it?"

Frankie grinned in response.

"Or a heroine?" Jonah wondered. "I don't doubt that you would have helped our friends if you could."

"Oh? Heroes saving the day? Just imagine. The two of us with powers running around saving people?" Frankie flopped down to the bed next to Jonah. "Wouldn't that be great?"

He rolled over to pull her into his arms. She saw him wince, but he didn't make a sound at the pain he felt. "It would certainly be something. It would be nice to put out some good for once. What would your power be?"

"Don't even get me started," she chuckled as she buried her face in his chest. "I used to read comics allllll the time," she sang. She paused to consider her answer. "Invisibility maybe. Or flight. Or super speed! Can you imagine me in a skin tight jump suit?"

"Oh, I think I can," Jonah promised. "I think I would like…" he began to say, but she cut him off with a kiss.

Their kiss deepened until she was half on top of his body. She moaned something into his mouth as her hands traveled down his body, and pushed even harder into the kiss as she gripped the hardness in his pants. Jonah jerked at her touch, and she took a moment to marvel at it. Her only experience so far had been with Winston, but as she already knew, Jonah was different in every way.

"You s-shouldn't," Jonah stuttered reluctantly as she brushed along the waistband over his underwear that peaked above his buckle.

Frankie frowned, but accepted it as she pushed her hand up and under his shirt. Her heart jumped as he hissed in her ear.

"Are you…" she stopped herself from finishing the question; there was no doubt that he already had an "I'm fine" loaded on his tongue. She ignored whatever he said as she lifted up his shirt to notice bruising all over his stomach. Her words got caught in her throat at the sight.

They were both breathing heavily as she looked up into his eyes.

"You promise you're not hurt?" Frankie asked.

Jonah looked her deeply in the eyes. "I promise."

Frankie smiled. "I'm ready."

"Ready?" he asked, puzzled.

She smirked and placed her hand at his waist again.

"Frankie…" Jonah warned.

"It's fine, I promise," she murmured as her fingers popped the buckle of his belt.

"Frankie…"

She unbuttoned his pants and brushed her hand over his boxers. Excitement coursed through her only to stop her heart as it was replaced with panic when Jonah grabbed her hand and pushed her away.

"Seriously, Frankie, stop," Jonah sighed.

Guilt and anger and rejection tore through her as Jonah rolled over and sat on the edge of her bed, facing away from her. She pushed her feelings aside for Jonah's sake. This wasn't like him.

"Frankie," he said, patting the bed beside him. "It's time that we talk. It's been kind of dancing between us all day, hasn't it? It's time to tell you about my past. All of it."


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I intended for this to be the last chapter in this chunk of the story, but it took a different direction as I was writing. There are likely two chapters left in this chunk, before we hit the "night" phase. 
> 
> This chapter is also short, due to the change in direction. I hope you enjoy!

**Don’t Leave Me XII**

"Hey," Miles greeted as Zoë took a seat next to him. He had been meaning to speak to her for a while, even before Frankie asked him to. "So, wanna talk?"

"Sure," Zoë murmured. "Winston had to go home, and told me you would keep an eye on me."

Miles raised an eyebrow at that. Her tone was sad and resigned, and he could tell that she wanted more than anything for someone to be there in a way she couldn't describe. He was very familiar with that feeling. Another part of his mind registered shock that Winston was aware that he did in fact want to talk to and help Zoë. Maybe his little side kick was coming into his own. Miles shook those thoughts from his mind. Winston was a good friend, and their friendship would lose some of its magic if he spent too much time analyzing it. Instead, he spoke the words that needed to be spoken.

"Is there something I need to keep an eye on?" he asked. Those words would give her the power to tell him what she thought was wrong. More importantly, he was telling her that he was there to listen.

"You already know, Miles. You were always good at reading people, and don't pretend you aren't.”

“Perhaps,” Miles agreed. “Care to go to the cafeteria? Privacy in a crowd, you know?”

“I’m familiar with such loneliness…”

Miles nodded grimly, feeling more connected to Zoë with those words than he had at any point in their shared past. He led the way down stairs and through a maze of halls that felt like they belonged to an entirely different building. Eventually they ended up in a brightly lit room with wooden floors and a scatter of tables across from a bar holding food. Miles chuckled at the memory of boarding school. It was shockingly similar to the dining hall of his grade 9 school, though it was certainly permeated by a sense of despair and felt… well, disinfected and too clean were the only words he could apply to it.

His stomach churned as he saw the food. “I… don’t think I can eat right now,” he muttered. “You?”

Zoë shook her head as well before he led her off to a windowed seat.

There was silence for a while as Miles watched the cars drive by outside the window. He closed his eyes, and immediately popped them open for fear of falling asleep and missing news on Tristan. He hadn’t realized how exhausted he was.

It was Zoë who spoke first. “Are you as jealous as I am?  To see Maya and Zig reunited in there? They aren’t even together anymore… yet they’re the ones who are allowed to be happy.”

Miles took a moment to process those words. “I am not jealous of their happiness. I’m glad that they are able to be. But… I am jealous that they know… that their loved ones are all right.”

He stared into Zoë’s eyes, and knew that they shared fear for the same person.

“So, how are you holding up?” he asked.

Zoë sighed. “I’m miserable. But when have I not been, really?”

Miles couldn’t fight his urge to chuckle at that. “I’m sorry,” he sputtered between laughter. “No offense, honest. But I felt the same way more often than not. Until I realized that Tristan would always be there for me…” He had to close his eyes and clinch his fist to stop the thoughts that he was thinking.

“What the two of you had… it was cute,” Zoë said quietly. “I was wildly jealous, but I had to pretend to like Winston all that time?”

“Pretend?”

“Did you really not realize?  You were the first to ever mention it.”

“Still lost,” Miles deadpanned.

Zoë locked eyes with him slowly, and rolled the worlds around on her tongue before speaking. “I like girls. Only girls… I think?”

Miles cocked his head. “I see. I suspected you were into girls. Tristan’s voice carries, you know? Plus, my bi senses were tingling. Well, I guess they failed, if just a bit. You were tricking them!” he joked.

Zoë chuckled. “Fooled Winston well enough… I feel bad for leading him on, though. He just wanted to be loved… I think that’s why I stayed so long. I was hoping I could return it one day. But who would ever love me?”

Miles felt himself go into a daze as every memory he had of Tristan came rushing back to him like a fresh dose of drugs. His head was spinning as he arrived back to the first memories of their relationship…

_“If I have learned anything this year, it is that no one will ever truly love you.”_

_“Who could ever truly love me, right?”_

_“I meant me!”_

Miles placed his palms on the table and spread them tight as he anchored himself back to reality. Zoë was looking at him with concern in her eyes. He shook his head.

“I’ve been there,” he said. “Did Tristan ever tell you about the night that we… got together, I guess you could say?”

“Little boy blue thought no one would ever love him,” she recalled. “Tristan thought you were insane.”

“I probably am,” Miles replied offhandedly. “But I have been where you are nonetheless.”

“You hurt yourself too?” she accused, though her dismissive tone said that she knew the answer.

“No, not physically. But I lead my life down self-destruction as you well know. I chased Tristan away.”

“That was because of your father.”

“He made me hate myself,” Miles explained. “You hate yourself too, don’t you? You feel like no one could ever love you. You do things to hurt yourself so you don’t hurt others… you think that everyone would be better off without you.”

“Wouldn’t they? I nearly ruined your sister’s life after all? You should hate me for that.”

Miles paused and let a sly smirk spread on his lips. “I think what we did last summer says that I forgive you?”

“Don’t remind me,” Zoë groaned. “I’ve done tons worse, anyway. I broke Zig and Maya up-“

“How?”

“- I stabbed Grace in the back. I used Winston for a whole semester. I took out my anger on Tristan”

“None of those are going to convince me you are irredeemable. Promise,” Miles said.

Zoë’s eyes went cold “I enjoyed harassing and mocking your brother and his little game club. It felt nice to make someone smaller than me miserable. I didn’t even see him as your brother, but an outcast to mock,” she sneered.

Miles growled a bit, but didn’t rise to the bait. He knew that she was trying to make him mad. He pulled this same trick on Tristan.

“And this was when I was happy. Do I need to remind you what I did to Maya last year?”

“I still have faith in you,” Miles said slowly, mentally dodging his desire to yell at her. She was certainly his match at screwing herself over, but he knew all the tricks. Hindsight informed him of how he wished others had reacted to him.

Zoë was baffled. “Why?”

“Because you need it? If I don’t help you, who will?”

He saw Zoë lower her defenses. “Tristan would have… but instead, I made sure he knew I would never want to be like him…” She paused for a moment. “I never got to tell him how much I loved him.”

Her chest began to heave softly, and he reached out to grip her hand in his. He blinked away tears from his own eyes as he spoke.

“Me either.”

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOOOOL, I live. I'm alive!

**Don’t Leave Me XIII**

“So, you and Miles are friends again?” Zig asked after a long span of awkward silence.

Maya shook her head, though it was more so to shake the fog than to answer his question. Her head was still reeling from finding out that Zig was alive… if not entirely okay. She could see it in his eyes. He was trying his best to not act like he was entirely miserable, but she knew his eyes. She always knew his eyes.

Zig was in great pain of the emotional variety. Typically not feeling pain was a good sign, but the fact that he couldn’t feel anything in his legs was a bad omen.

Maya took a moment to look at her own injury. Wrist wrapped in a cast, bone shattered but capable of a full recovery. Her wrist radiated a dull throb of something approaching pain, but never anything more than a heated pulse. She’d give anything to see Zig’s legs wrapped in cast, causing him immeasurable pain; just so he could feel something and anything. But instead, he felt nothing… and from the look in his eyes, she could tell that he believed he never would again.

She wanted to reach out to him and tell him that everything would be okay. Perhaps she would at any other time… but memories of the world spinning around her as the bus flew through the air stopped her. The world wasn’t a place where everything worked out.

So instead she spoke in the only way she could. She answered a question that didn’t really matter.

“No, not really. Or, I suppose, maybe. Miles and I never stopped being friends, we just stopped talking. It’s like with Tristan…” she stopped, suddenly haunted by reality. No matter where her thoughts went, they were trapped within the crash. Her breathing picked up, and her only thoughts were a chorus of “no”s.

Tristan was dead. Grace was dead. They had to be. Zig was one of the last people released, and in the worse condition of anyone they have heard of yet. That was nearly an hour ago… if anyone else hadn’t been released yet, they had to be in far worse condition.

“No, no, no,” she spoke out loud. “It’s happening again.”

Zig grabbed her hand and locked eyes with her, and in those kind, stupid little orbs she saw pain, and comfort, and love. She squeezed her hand in his, and she saw him wince, and a part of her was reminded of those stupid movies where they showed a woman giving birth trying to rip the father’s hand off. A stupid thought, but anything to get her mind of things for a moment, so she squeezed harder.

“I’m worried about Tristan too,” Zig said softly. His eyes were shaking, and Maya was reminded that Zig had known Tristan longer than any of them. They weren’t close these days, as they had grown apart and had little in common short of their mutual friends, but they were still on good terms despite whatever drama based grudge Tristan may be holding.

“And Grace…” Maya sighed. “I can’t have someone I love die again.” She paused, Grace’s name spoken between the two of them for the first time since the party in the woods. They both knew what happened. They had finally been at the point where they were over and done. They were finally at the point where they were ready to move on with others… but neither of them were ready to take the final step. She felt it in her heart, and she could see it simmering in Zig’s eyes as well.

Zig shook his hand to loosen from hers, before gripping it in a much more loving manner than the panic induce hold she had. “And Grace,” he said softly.

Maya nodded in understanding. What happened with Grace may have been awkward, but the three of them had pulled through. They were still friends. Nothing had changed really. They still loved each other in their own ways.

“I’m here for you,” Zig whispered. “I’ll be here for you throughout everything. I want to be there when we hear about Tristan. I want to be there for you when we hear about Grace. I want to be everything you need… unless you want me to go, then I’ll go.”

Maya blinked. “I… never want you to go.” Her free hand was still shaking as she brought it forward to stroke Zig’s face, but she stopped herself. “I… thank you.”

“I’ll always be there for you,” Zig promised.

She nodded, knowing that a short hour ago she was haunted by the thought of losing him. Seeing him had been a relief, and she wanted nothing more than to be with him. But it just made the other fears worse. Zig had survived. That mean Tristan and Grace might not have. Probably did not. Fate was never kind to her. It had already taken one person away from her, and the very thought of it happening again was always her greatest fear.

She pulled her hands away from Zig, and wiped the nonexistent tears from her eyes. She sniffled before she spoke. “I… can’t deal with this.”

Her heart ached as she saw Zig’s face fall.

“No, not you. I… I need you. I can’t deal with this feeling right now. Miles said he had some drugs I could take. Don’t give me that look,” she chastised. “He said he had anti-anxiety meds. I’m familiar with them, so I won’t take the wrong thing or wrong dose.”

“Whatever will make you feel better. I want you to be better. Or happy. I just want you to be happy.”

Maya stood to shaky feet, and swallowed a breath deep into her gut to stop the sickness she felt within. “Ready for a trip?” she asked.

“A trip?” Zig hummed, his voice sounding with excitement and relief that she wanted to go somewhere and anywhere with him.

“Miles mentioned that he was hungry even though he didn’t think he could stomach food earlier, so he might have gone to the cafeteria,” she said as she wrapped her hands around the handles to Zig’s chair, and steered him towards the door. She paused for a moment before speaking again.

“Thanks… for always trying to be there for me. Even if you fail,” she chuckled. She wasn’t mad anymore. The past was the past. The conversation of his indiscretion wasn’t over, but she no longer felt any anger.

“Always,” Zig said.

“And you’ll let me know if you ever need to talk, too, right?”

Zig remained quiet.

“I lov…” Maya stopped herself. “I care about you. I want to know that you will talk to me about anything. I want to know when you feel upset about your condition. I don’t want you to be strong for me Zig. I just want you to be the boy that I…” 

Zig sighed. “I’m not worried about my legs so much as I am Tiny… I have a bad feeling.” The last words were caught in his throat as he shoved his fist into his mouth.

Maya put a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll be there for you too, no matter what.”

* * *

Jonah was quiet for a while, letting a pregnant pause take the room as he mulled over his words and worries.

“So,” he said, then took a moment to inhale. “I didn’t tell you the full truth earlier. I didn’t want to lie or anything, but sometimes it is necessary; at least, I thought it was.”

They stared into one another’s eyes, and Jonah was surprised not to find anger or betrayal in hers, but understanding. She nodded, and he could tell that it was a nod of understanding and approval.

“I was hurt more by the crash than I let on. Both the one today, and when my dad died. I’ll admit it. The crash from when I was a kid scarred me. Not physically, thankfully, but I was fucked up for years. The injuries were bad enough for me to need painkillers… and I just never stopped taking them.”

Frankie put her hand on his shoulder. “Don’t be ashamed. It happens. We saw the same thing with Miles last semester, remember?”

Jonah nodded. “I’ll continue,” he said, taking her hand into his. “I want you to know everything that there is to know about me. Finally. I’m tired of living a lie.”

“I never stopped taking them. I begged and begged my moms to get me more, and for a while the doctors gave me as many as I wanted. But they stopped after a while. It was too late though. I was already addicted, and I know if I told my parents that they would send me to rehab or something. Who knows what crazy ideas my twelve year old mind would have cooked up?”

He took another pause for breath, and waited for Frankie to give him a nod of encouragement.

“I turned to drug dealers for my fix. Stupid idea, I know. Well, now at least. I was twelve, so I couldn’t pay for anything, so I had to help out. I became a dealer. I wasn’t very intimidating, being young and recovering from half a year of injury. I was relegated to being the kid who sells drugs out of the bathroom at school. All my profits went to painkillers. I was at threat of death if I ever swiped any.”

“They never hurt you did they?” she asked uncertainly.

Jonah shook his head. “No, not really. The only time I ever had ‘aggressive negotiations’ was when Zig jumped me in the hall last year.” He chuckled. “That is the past now, though I doubt that Maya knows.”

“What made you leave?”

“I finally got tired of it. I finally hated myself. I knew that I had better things to do with my life.” He paused with words on the tip of his tongue. He wanted more than anything to tell her his biggest secret. But his mothers told him to never speak of it. He shook his head before speaking. “I turned to God, and finally found a reason to fix myself.”

He sighed. “I had a girlfriend in the gang too. She was my first time, and it was so easy to get lost in the sex and drugs. She kept me around, but also became a reason I wanted to better myself. I became Straight Edge to make sure that I never went back to that lifestyle.”

“So,” Frankie pondered aloud. “You don’t want to have sex because you fear it will lead you back to drugs? And, more importantly, you are avoiding painkillers that you clearly need. You fear that painkillers will lead to addiction and drugs again. Don’t deny it,” she said, surprising Jonah as the thoughts had just barely started forming in his mind.

“I saw the way that you were limping earlier, and the pain that crosses your face when I touch you. You need them, Jonah. I hate to think that you are in pain because you’re afraid. You’re strong, I know you are.” She gulped. “And I can be strong for you too.”

Jonah felt her words tugging at his heart, and he wanted to be the strong person that she thought he was. But he couldn’t. “No, I can’t risk it,” he said. He closed his eyes to hide away from the look of disappointment that would surely cross his face. He kept his lips pursed to stop his own disappointment at himself from slipping through. 

Frankie had no such look. “I won’t allow you to get addicted again,” she promised. “I care about you. I will watch you every step of the way to make sure that you won’t become addicted again. I’ll make sure you only take them when needed. I’ll make sure you stay happy and healthy. Without you. I…”

“Frankie, I…”

“No,” Frankie dismissed the words he hadn’t yet spoken with a shake of her head. “Don’t say that you know that you’ll fail again and become an addict. I won’t let you,” she intoned. “You were with me all semester, and helped me learn to be a better me. You kept me strong at my worst. Let me do the same for you.”

Jonah gulped and licked his lips. “Okay, I can try.” He blinked, and his ran his hand over his side. “This really does hurt.” Another pause. “Why are you doing this for me?” 

“Why not?” Frankie asked. “We care about each other, don’t we? You did everything for me because you care. And I want to help you because I care about you too, you know? You’re the first person who liked me for me. Winston saw me as a girl. My parents see me as a responsibility. My brothers are my brothers. My friends and I are close, but they aren’t like you.” She closed her eyes for a moment, and when she opened them he saw more life in her than he had in months. “I think I might… love you.”

Jonah took a deep breath, and as his mouth closed, his lips up turned into a smile. “I… might love you too.” Those were words he didn’t think he would be saying now much less anytime soon, if ever, but as the words left his lips, they felt right. The bond he had with Frankie was like nothing he had ever felt before. The bond wasn’t magical or godly, but it just felt right in a way that words could never explain.

His thoughts were broken as Frankie rolled into his chest. He closed his eyes and enjoyed her hold on him. The feel of her skin on his, the smell of her hair, and the warmth of her embrace.

“You know,” she giggled. “I was looking for a way to deepen our relationship, and this is so much better.”

Jonah smiled. “Yeah, it is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, the Zaya scene at the start was unplanned and materialized while writing. I am very fond of it, and it is one of my favorite scenes in the chapter!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the climax of Fronah's plot for this story. They'll still show up, but they are now in the B-cast. I liked this scene, and accomplished everything I wanted with it, but it felt rushed maybe? Like, logically it was fine, but I feel like I set it up too hard and the climax was just the climax. Let me know what you think!
> 
> Edit: This chapter is the two month anniversary of this fic! And it broke 25k!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 5:45am and I'm posting this having only reread it twice. Hopefully I'm not a failure.

**Don’t Leave Me XIV**

“Penny for your thoughts?” Miles asked. He knew the sentiment was useless even before the words left his mouth. The lost look on Zoë’s face was only fuel for Miles’ self-pity – if she could do it, why not him as well?

He groaned. He had spent too much of his life wallowing in self-pity. Normally he would be okay with such a life, but now he was mad. Mad that after everything that he had been through this year, he had finally been happy… and life saw fit to take it away from him. He was too angry at life to wallow this time – he was angry and he was going to show life up.

His hand was starting to hurt, and he glanced down at it to see that he had clinched his hand ghost-white. He unclenched and flexed his hand like he did after a long writing session, trying to breathe life back into it and assuage some of the pain.

“Are you all right?” Zoë asked carefully.

Miles shook his head in a manner that was devoid of any significant meaning. “Life just… life just sucks right now…”

“Tell me about it,” she sighed.

Miles watched Zoë’s lips move, and felt nothing. This time last year, her lips were all that he could think about, and now the two of them couldn’t be more disinterested in one another. Odd the things that could change over the course of a year. At least they got along well enough for exes. He and Maya drifted apart until only recently, and he and Tristan had been at each other’s throat for half a year. Zoë and his conflict had only been as a result of the great Triles war of 2015, and they held no ill will between one another once he and Tristan had made up. In fact, they had gotten along famously during their double dates…

His reminiscent of the past were cut off once he realized that their foursome may never be a foursome again. Even if Tristan were alive and well, Winston and Zoë were in a new stage of life. Miles would never have the few things that made him happy this last semester. He tried to conjure up a mental image of Hunter smiling as something in his own life finally went right. It failed to bring a smile to Miles’ face.

Tristan may be gone. The light of his life may be gone. The one thing that he had to himself – the one thing he let himself have to be happy – may be gone. He felt sick all over again. The one good thing that helped him through his anxiety about his father was dangling much like the threads of his sanity. Without Tristan…

His thoughts stopped as Zoë gripped his shoulders and locked her eyes with his.

“I can’t breathe,” he wheezed. It was sudden, but he couldn’t breathe or think or function in any way that he wanted to; now the only thought on his mind was ‘not again.’ Not like last time. He couldn’t become the addict that he was last term… without Tristan, he had no return.

“I… I don’t know what to do,” Zoë said with a hint of fear in her tone.

Miles closed his eyes and tried to breathe calmly. He wanted to tell Zoë that she couldn’t do anything, and that she needn’t feel bad. He couldn’t make himself care. “Just…. I’m all alone now.” He kept quiet after those words, and he was happy to find whatever connection that the two of them had had the previous summer was still intact – at the very least, she knew to give him his time while being close enough so that he wasn’t completely and utterly isolated in the cold, cruel world.

He wasn’t sure how long he had his eyes closed, but when he returned to the world around him, he heard his friends speaking.

Maya met his eyes. “Zoë said you were having trouble breathing? A panic attack, I assume? You did mention anxiety meds earlier.”

Miles nodded, not particularly shocked that Maya had shown up. She always had a tendency to do that. “More or less,” he said as he wiped imaginary sweat from his brow with a fidgety hand.

“I hope this is not the wrong time to take you up on your offer for some?” Maya asked carefully.

Miles blinked and took a moment to observe all of his friends. There was concern in all of their eyes – and he wanted none of that right now. He put on his best absent face.

“Sure,” he blubbered. “I’d love to. I could really go for a walk right now.” That wasn’t a lie, but he shrugged that thought off as he stood up. One didn’t have to lie to hide their thoughts.

“Miles,” Maya said in that tone of hers; it was that grating tone she used when she was afraid, and he couldn’t let himself ignore her. “If you need to talk… well, it’s never good to let your thoughts eat you up inside.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know,” he said as kindly as he could before leaving. He did want to talk. So badly. Only problem was that the person that he wanted to talk to was Tristan – and he was nowhere to be found.

It was all a blur, but by the time he realized that he was moving he was already lost somewhere in the hospital. He stopped for a moment to rest against a wall to try and figure out where he was, but it was useless. His mind was racing in a million and one exact ways that were anything but helpful. He was lost in body and mind without Tristan, his anchor. His breathing was picking up, and without the desire to be strong for Zoë this time, he had nothing to make him fight against the cold dread.

He looked around to find a few people watching him out of the corner of their eyes, and suddenly he felt more self-conscious than he ever had before. He felt like he was sweating and that the world was spinning, but both felt wrong and not real. He couldn’t place it, but he felt like he was on fire or something. He just wanted to die in seven different ways that he had not wanted to even two minutes ago.

He started walking down the hallway to get away from those awful, awful eyes that just wouldn’t stop watching and judging and judging. He couldn’t take it, and as his speed picked up he couldn’t fight that sharp dagger digging through his heart and body that reminded him of everything that his father had done to him.

He turned down a hallway that seemed desolate and kept going, and hoped that whatever fear manifest that was chasing him was left behind. He stopped in front of a set of vending machines: one for snacks, another for drinks, and a third for ice cream.

It was the ice cream vender that caught his attention as he rested his head against the plastic casing. It wasn’t as cold as he would like, but it did the world to cool his head at least a little. He banged his head softly against the chill plastic, and found the echoing thump inside the machine oddly therapeutic.

He sighed and watched the condensation of his breath collect on the barrier from the contrast of hot against cold. He lowered his head and shivered as his nose pulled down through the moisture, and then with his eyes trembling with unspent tears, he drew a horizontal line with his finger through the mark left by his nose and finished writing the only thought on his mind

_tris_

He blinked back tears and slammed his hand down on the name of his love and smudged it out before angrily walked away to the next machine and resting his head there again. He closed his eyes and tried to block out all thoughts, and wondered if even dying would be able to stop the whirling, racing thoughts that were tearing up his mind.

He slowly pried his eyes open with some measure of will, and he was met with the terrible gaze of a Reese’s. It was Tristan’s favorite food… something that for a moment could bring Tristan back to him.

He fumbled through his wallet to look for his debit card, and he prayed that this wasn’t one of those shit machines that had a card reader that didn’t work – half the ones at Degrassi were a tease.

His thoughts wondered to Tristan as he did. Reese’s were always Tristan’s favorite. They were the one food that he would break his rarely spoken but ever present diet for. It annoyed Miles sometimes that Tristan denied himself the pleasure of food for a better body, as Miles thought that he looked perfect as he was. But Reese’s always broke those rules and represented Tristan allowing himself to be happy rather than holding on to an old self-hatred. And self-hatred was something that Miles was intimately familiar with – and any little thing that could make him feel better was a godsend.

He hit the combination A4, and watched as the metal coil rolled back to let his snack drop free. It didn’t, and anger roiled up within his heart as he watched it get snagged by the metal.

Nothing.

Ever.

Went.

Right.

Those thoughts were one by one and punctuated with a solid thud of his fist hitting the plastic that stopped him from snatching what was rightfully his. Happiness was ever elusive.

Nothing ever went right. His whole life was a mess. He was born into a life where he was never wanted for him and him for who he was. Tristan had been the only person who liked him for being Miles, and while Miles was aware that he may not even have the slightest idea of what that meant in words and thoughts, he knew that Tristan’s feelings for him meant more than the world.

He slumped to his knees and sighed before hearing the tell-tale sign of a plastic wrapper crashing on metal. He looked up to see that the Reese’s had fallen, and he reached inside cautiously to grab it, afraid that he had imagined it. But as he felt the plastic package against his palm and brushed his fingers over the circles of chocolate, he let a smile cross his face.

Sometimes, sometimes things worked out after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @titch-the-eskibro-bandit for the inspiration on the Reese's. It changed significantly since we talked about it, but it started there :P


	15. Chapter 15

**Don’t Leave Me XV**

“I’ll be back first thing tomorrow,” Maya said with traces of longing in her voice that she tried and failed to keep buried.

Zig nodded and let one of those slow, cautions smiles of his cross his lips. He was so cute when he was happy. “I will count every moment,” he said, then wheeled away.

Maya felt heated with a flush as Zig left. Yesterday, she and Zig had been on the scarcest of speaking terms, even though they shared friends. Now, she felt like she was in the previous year all over again. She wanted to crawl into his lap and place kisses on his lips and trail her hands down his chest.

She wondered if they could ever be like that again. Would she be able to forgive him for his past mistakes past a quick moment of lust? Would he be able to have sex with her, and would he even be able to try?  He hadn’t responded confidently to Miles’ question earlier, and Zig had always been fragile in regards to his self-esteem.

She sighed. Those thoughts were for the future. Perhaps the far future. There was too much going on at the moment to worry about something so frivolous. So many people were suffering, and she wondered if she could do anything. Likely not. She was an emotional mess between her thoughts on Zig and her anxiety – even with the medication Miles had given her just over an hour ago, she still felt on edge with every breath. She would be of little help to anyone as her closest friends’ lives were still a mystery.

Tiny. Tristan. Grace. She thought their names one by one. Everything she had gained through them, and every thought that had been left unsaid. At least Jonah was well. Some good news was a blessing.

Her help would likely be useless as there were others running around trying to help and struggling to find any way to do so. Hunter and Yael were the most vigilant as they attempted to have conversations with anyone who looked lonely or in need of help. Panic arose in her heart as she realized that she was alone and their type of target, and she hoped that her mom would get here soon. She was already on her way.

Maya wasn’t sure what she thought about Hunter and Yael running around helping people. On one hand, it was cute to see two kids running around helping others – and even to her they seemed to be an adorable and complimentary pair – but deep down, she knew that they were monsters for what they did to her last semester. She wouldn’t fall for the cuteness façade that they were putting off; she remembered when Hunter was the cute if quiet little brother of Miles when they were dating. Hunter was still a monster who would threaten to rape or kill her if he got mad. Therapy or no, Hunter was dangerous and his girlfriend was just a pawn.

She growled as she forced these thoughts out of her. She would rather think about Zig. His strong hands, his kind words, his warm lips… and Zig would be all alone tonight. His family wouldn’t come. He hadn’t seen his mother in over a year. Thoughts of his family always made Zig sad, and the thought of her love upset and alone in the world pained her. He talked about his family so rarely that Maya didn’t even know his brother’s name.

The thoughts always pained her. Zig was a good person deep down. Not even deep. Zig was a genuinely kind guy who just made a lot of stupid mistakes. Perhaps if his mother were a better mom, he would have never been put into such bad scenarios. For a moment, she wondered what would happen when Zig’s brother came to Degrassi next year. Would their mother allow them to interact?

Those thoughts were cut off with a call from her mother. She was here. She was finally here. Suddenly a sense of relief flushed through her. She was going home. She was finally going home. For a moment on the bus, she feared that she may never see her mom, or dad, or bedroom again, but now she was going home.

Margaret arrived a few minutes later to check her out. Maya rolled her eyes as the receptionist followed half a dozen procedures. She just wanted to go home!

“Here are your prescriptions and insurance information,” the receptionist said. Maya groaned. Her free hand may not be broken but it was unpleasant to hold things. The receptionist continued. “Down the hall you will find a room where some belongings have been collected.”

Maya nodded absently as they walked away before realizing that she didn’t have her purse. She shook her head in annoyance. “We should check that room the receptionist told us about.”

Margaret nodded as she hobbled along on her crutches. They arrived to find a desk worker waiting inside.

“Name?” the worker requested.

Maya sighed at the gruffness. She wanted to be here less than they did.

“Maya Matlin.”

The desk worker nodded and typed her name into a computer. “We found a purse with your ID in it,” they muttered before they head off.

Maya frowned as the worker returned with her purse. It was in tatters. She sighed as she took it and looked at her mom as they exited into the hallway.

Maya dropped her purse on the floor and sighed in pain as she leaned over to pick it up. “I can’t hold it,” she muttered. “The strap is destroyed, and it’s too bulky for me to hold with one hand,” she said, and froze as a deep voice she didn’t want to hear spoke up.

“I can help,” it said. That voice belong to Hunter Hollingsworth. His tone was jovial, and it angered her that he seemed to have forgotten the harm that he had caused her.

He waited patiently with his hands out for her stuff. Maya kept her face as stoic as possible to not show any weakness for Hunter to exploit. Yael was standing behind Hunter with a nervous look on her face – at least she had the decently to know how wrong this was. Maybe she could reign her little boyfriend in.

Hunter’s face turned into a frown after a moment. “If you want me to go…”

Margaret spoke before Maya could, and a part of her was grateful. Stirring up drama after a day like this would be a poor decision. “Let the boy help, Maya. We don’t exactly have enough hands between the two of us.”

Maya nodded as she handed her stuff to Hunter. If only her mother knew. If she knew that this boy was Hunter, she would introduce every part of his body to her crutches. Hunter smiled shakily at her, and Maya turned away and signaled for her mom to lead the way to the car. At least Hunter knew that he was shit.

She refused to meet eyes with Hunter after she climbed into the car and Hunter handed her her stuff through the window. She scoffed as her dad thanked Hunter for helping out.

She made sure to say nothing as nothing was everything that needed to be said.

* * *

Miles watched as Maya left the reception area. He was concerned when Hunter followed her, but he was no longer a threat, and probably deserved everything that Maya would say to him.

He was jealous that Maya could leave. He was exhausted and longed to be in his bed, but he couldn’t leave. He was jealous that Maya had good news about her loved one and could go home if only for a few hours. The jealousy faded quickly. He was never one to be upset when others were happy. He looked over to Zoë who hadn’t left his side since he returned from his panic-filled trip to his car. Being with her was the best that he could do. They were the best comforts that they had.

It still made him sick to his stomach to think about Tristan. A small part of him hoped that everything would turn out okay – the Reese’s either represented the light in the dark or the expenditure of what little luck that he had in life.

It just wasn’t fair. How was it possible that they knew nothing about Tristan? Was fate teasing them? Or was his body left unrecognizable by the crash?

Miles groaned. Tristan was the one good thing in his life. His parents were still shit, and while he loved his siblings, it angered him that they were as lost in the world as he was due to how awful that their parents were.

At least his siblings were spared pain today. Frankie was off with Jonah now, and a small part of him was worried what that meant after three hours. Hunter had been at the hospital the entire time, trying to find ways to help.  It was good to see Hunter being a kinder, more sociable person. Maybe there was hope for all of them yet after how they were raised.

Thinking about his parents always made Miles mad. Where the hell were they anyway? They were at the volley ball game, but neither of them made the slightest move to contact their kids after they rushed off to check on their friends.

Miles gagged. They were probably enjoying their alone time.

His thoughts were broken as Hunter took a seat next to him with a thump, and Miles tried to remove whatever unpleasant look that he had on his face. Always smiles for the siblings.

“How are you holding up?” Hunter asked.

“I’m alive,” Miles said plainly. “How did your talk with Maya go?”

“She didn’t try to kill me.”

“That’s good, I suppose. Manage to help anyone today?”

“I guess,” Hunter said. “Nothing major, but better than nothing.”

Miles nodded and clasped Hunter’s shoulder. “We’ll make it through. Did you eat yet?”

“Nah, Yael and I are waiting for Frankie to get back. You?”

Miles shook his head. “I ate enough to know that I don’t have much of a stomach for food right now.” Miles noticed Frankie and her boyfriend returning and signaled them over.

“It’s about time that you got back. Thought you left your brothers.”

“Shush,” Frankie scolded playfully as she tossed Miles his bag. “I brought clothes and tooth brush stuff for the two of you. You should be thanking me if you still intend to say the night.”

Miles humphed. “And what did you two get up to?” he asked suspiciously.

“We had a nice talk,” Frankie stated.

Miles nodded, suddenly back to the morning after he and Tristan had taken the final step in their relationship. The sex had been nice, but the true value had been the feelings of love that they had talked about. He could only hope that Frankie had found the same.

He sighed. More than ever, he wanted Tristan in his arms again.

       

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I didn't take forever this time!
> 
> So, finally, we are finished with part 2 in chapter 15! For the record, this was supposed to be chapter 11... I added a lot. The next 3 chapters are an interlude of sorts, primarily involving Hunter's plot, and then we end with Miles finding out what happened to Tristan... Then we're int he final stretches of the story as morning rolls around and everyone plays scooby doo detectives to find out about their loved ones!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A long one :)

**Don’t Leave Me XVI**

Hospital food wasn’t the worst, but Frankie didn’t eat much as she and Jonah had eaten dinner with his mothers only a few hours ago. She tightened her hand around Jonah’s and watched as the others ate.

Hunter was scarfing down food faster than she had ever seen, almost like a normal guy. Her twin was usually so reserved, so she had to wonder how long it had been since he ate – or maybe, Yael just brought life to him in a way that Frankie had never seen before. It was sad to think how little she and Hunter had interacted this last year, but Frankie shook the thought from her mind, and promised herself that she would do better for now on. She was done with being the girl that ignored those she should care about. At least he had Yael.

Yael was eating her food slowly, though she kept a half-gaze on Hunter out of the corner of her eyes. It was cute to see someone so smitten with her nerdy little brother, and if Franke was given the opportunity, she would claim some credit for the two of them getting together. She had goaded them as she watched them from the pool, and after she realized that Hunter was a dud when it came to flirting, enlisted Miles’ help in pushing Hunter in the right direction. The dress she had lent Yael didn’t hurt either.

Frankie smiled as she got an idea – she would need to hang out with Yael this summer and find some things that they had in common. Perhaps it was time to get back into comic books and some of Hunter’s more friendly games.

Her eyes went to Lola next and her heart broke. She had never seen Lola’s face so sad. Frankie just wanted to reach over and hug her. Her pink curls were a mess, and suddenly, Frankie felt guilty that she had been able to head home for a change of clothes. She should have stayed to make sure her friends were okay… but she also had had the responsibility to make sure that Jonah was okay too.

Her thoughts were halted for a moment as Hunter and Yael stood up to leave dinner early, but before she could ask why she heard Shay slam her hand down on the table.

It was Shay’s eyes that caught Frankie’s attention when she looked over. Shay’s face was poised, almost stoic, as usual, but her eyes spoke for her soul. Her eyes were those of fear: almost dead and fighting back tears. Frankie wanted to pull her aside and talk to her, but wasn’t sure what she should say as their once strong friendship was still in mangled tatters. Did she even have the right to try to help?

Jonah’s hand flexed in hers, and as mall part of her wanted to shout at the top of her lungs the new found closeness that they had. It would have to wait. The old Frankie would have announced her happiness to the world without a care for others. The new Frankie, or whatever she was, was different. She would wait. She would support her brothers and friends, and when she knew they had good news to share, only then would she share her own.

Seeing everyone work together to survive the hardship of the day – and Jonah sticking with her throughout her lowest times – reminded her of the joys of every one sharing their happiness. She knew that she needed to stick with her friends as they suffered so that they could all come out stronger.

She reached out her and placed it over Shay’s. It was time to be there for those that she loved. It was time to put others first. 

* * *

 

The only sound was the thumping echoes of their feet as they walked down the mostly vacant hallways of the hospital. Hunter took a deep breath, enjoyed the pleasant rhythm of their feet, and slid his hand over Yael’s.

It was a nice feeling. He had never had a girlfriend before, and it felt nice to finally, finally have someone understand him. He could only hope that nothing went wrong. He could only hope that he wouldn’t let her get hurt.

“So, how are you feeling about today,” Yael asked. “Well, not the crash, obviously, but all the people we’ve tried to help.”

“I knew what you meant; I always do.” He gave her a smirk. “I feel fine, I guess. We didn’t do much, but we managed to cheer a few people up, or distract them for a moment. It’s like that quest in Realm of Doom where we had to talk to those refuges. We didn’t actually do anything for them, but we made a couple of people happy.”

Yael giggled. “I can always count on you to connect videos games to real life.”

“Well, of course, m’lady,” Hunter said smartly. “Video games are the reflection of the soul.”

They shared a laugh and fell into silence as they continued their walk.

After a while, Yael sighed and spoke cautiously. “How did you feel the talk with Maya went?”

Hunter let the silence linger as he pondered his thoughts. “It went better than I expected, honestly. I expected her to lash out or something… I surely would have at some point. But Miles always told me that she was too nice for her own good.”

He paused as he considered the depths of those words. “Another reason I suck, and it tells me the one thing that matters. She hasn’t forgiven me; she probably never will, and to be quite honest, shouldn’t. Everything that we did today – none of it means that I am forgiven. It won’t change what I did – it won’t change a judge’s mind – but I don’t regret it at all. Everyone that we helped was a good we put out into the world, and while it doesn’t fix the bad, it is something nice. I may not be a good person, but at least I can try to do some nice things.”

Yael shushed him. “Don’t say that. You’re a good guy. You’re my best friend – well, boyfriend. I know you’re a good person. You know how you always play like a white knight in Realm of Doom? You always go out of your way to help people even when there’s no reward. You’re a good person. It’s not as deep down or buried as you like to let yourself think. You’re a good person who sometimes doesn’t know how to react, but you’re trying and you’re learning.”

“I’m trying,” Hunter agreed under his breath. “I’m just not sure if it matters. I can’t make up for the past. I can’t make up for what I did.” He looked at Yael, and pain shot through his heart as he recalled her on the floor and the fear in her eyes as she realized what he was.

Hunter let Yael’s hand go. “I’m really not worth it.”

Yael grabbed his hand back, and he pulled away feebly, but she held strong. She always had a stronger will than him. It was one of the many reason that he liked her so much – anyone who could plant themself at a computer longer than him deserved his respect. It was her kindness and understanding that made his heart thump. Her voice gave him the strength to fight the boulder.

“You are worth it,” she promised. “You apologized to me. You accepted what you did was wrong. You did everything you could to try to make it up to me. You can only do your best.”

“I know… I don’t expects things to be perfect, but I want to think that I will always do better. I need to find a way to get Maya to forgive me. But I don’t deserve it because I know I meant everything I said I would do to her.”

“You could apologize,” Yael suggested. “It worked for me at least. I was afraid, but I felt it was the right thing to do. She told me that she didn’t hate me, but to never approach her again. It was fair. What you did may have been worse, but you should apologize to Maya, or at least try to. She might not forgive you – she has the right not to, really – but you have to try. Just like you have to try every little way to make the world a better place even though you know nothing will change, you have to try to earn the forgiveness for the wrong you committed, even if you’ll never get it.”

Yael locked eyes with Hunter before continuing. “And worse come to worse, you’ll always have me.”

Hunter thought about stating his disagreement, but he didn’t want to ruin the moment. Yael offered him a hope that he hadn’t felt in a long time, so he took the leap of faith that she offered him. Maybe things would turn out okay.

“Thanks,” Hunter said. “I am happy to have you in my life. And you’re right, all that I can do is try.”  He started to walk and Yael followed him hand in hand. “Let’s get back to Miles. I should be there for him. It’s the best thing that I can do right now. I owe everything to him.”

“Well, we should hurry up then,” Yael cheered as she sped up. Soon enough, it was like they were skipping through the near-vacant halls, uncaring of the few eyes that saw and judged them. The glares didn’t matter because things would be great as long as they were together.

* * *

 

Hunter raised an eyebrow as they returned to the reception area to find Miles where they left him. Zoë was sleeping on his shoulder, and if it wasn’t for Miles’ devotion to Tristan, Hunter would have wondered if they were planning a second summer romance.

Miles countered him with a brow raise of his own. “Skipping in a hospital? A bit morbid, isn’t it?”

Hunter rolled his eyes. “We-” he said as his fingers danced in Yael’s hand “- were just having some fun after a nice talk.”

Miles laughed. “How innocent. That’s not how my nice talks ever end.” Hunter and Yael blushed as they let go of their hand hold. “It’s kind of cute. We’re all having our ‘nice talks’ lately.”

“Yeah,” Hunter mumbled nervously under his breath and rubbed his hand through his hair – and then he wanted to slap himself for acting like an anime character. Yael may find it cute, but he wanted to convince her that he was more mature than that, or at least mature enough for them to be dating.

“Mind watching Zoë while I go change?” Miles asked as he fiddled through his backpack that Frankie brought.

Hunter’s eyes lit up. “Sure.”

“Keep my brother out of trouble,” Miles joked as he threw a wink at Yael and gave Hunter a slap on the shoulder.

Hunter only shook his head, and gestured that he and Yael should take a seat.

“So, you and Miles are close these days?” Yael asked. “You used to never talk about him before, but now… you seem really comfortable with him.”

Hunter nodded. “Yeah, we used to not be very close… I was angry and I hated him for a while… even before gaming club. But we started getting close last summer. He has been really good to me. A better… well, better than our dad ever was. Miles was there for me that night, and then all semester. I wouldn’t be here right now if not for him. I wouldn’t be able to even consider making up for what I did. I would be lost.”

“It must be nice,” Yael pondered. “I’m not close to my family. I’m glad to have you though.”

“I’m glad to have you as well,” Hunter said earnestly. “I’m sorry you are not close to yours. I know what that is like – hell, we still probably aren’t as close as we should be. I want to be closer to them. I want to let them know how much I care about them before…” He paused for a moment, a fear on his tongue that he wasn’t ready to release into reality. He shook his head. “… but I’m not sure what to do.”

“We just keep doing what we are doing,” Yael offered. “We stick around and make sure that those we love know that we are always there for them.”

Hunter smiled, happy for a moment, before it hit him. _We_.  She said we. She was with him for all of this. She was there for him. She was there for the one she loved. She…

He started as he heard Miles’ voice. “Hey, Hunter, you mind watching Zoë a little longer?”

“Uh, sure?  What are you off to do?”

Miles grinned. “I found some old weed in my bag,” he said, surreptitiously brandishing the bag between them.  

Hunter frowned, and jumped to his feet to snatch the bag of weed from Miles’ hand before either of them had a chance to think about it. “No,” he hissed, hiding the bag behind his back as Miles tried to grab for it. “I won’t let you.” He locked eyes with Miles and brushed off his older brother’s glare. This was the least he could do.

“Come on, Hunter,” Miles begged.

“No, I won’t let you get back on drugs… last year was scary, and then you almost died. I care about you. I don’t want you to get hurt. You’re an addict. You’ve said it yourself enough time. You were doing so much better. I know dad makes things hard – impossible even, and I know impossible – but he’s gone now, and we’re together. You, Frankie and me. We are strong together, and I won’t let you fall, just like you wouldn’t let me.”

“I…” Miles began. “You’re right… a small part of me was hoping you would stop me.” He looked to Yael and gave her a smile before taking Hunter’s seat between her and Zoë.

“Do you think you can toss it for me?” Miles directed at Hunter. “Every fiber of my being wants to smoke it right now.”

“Yeah, I need to change anyway,” Hunter said, tossing the weed back into the backpack and picking it up. “Feel like a walk Yael? I’d say a basement bathroom is a safe place to flush it.”

* * *

 

The hospital basement was kind of creepy, but with Hunter by her side, she felt safe. It was a hospital, so it made sense to feel safe, but it also reminded her of those creepy hospitals from those old survival-horror games she binged on last summer.

She spoke to distract herself from the dimly lit halls. “What did you mean when you said you don’t have much time left?” It was a question that had been eating at her for a while.

Hunter ignored her at first, and that made her heart stop for a moment. Was he going back into his shell? He turned to her as they entered the bathroom. He had a tear rolling down his face, though he didn’t seem to notice, as he grabbed her hand tenderly.

“I think it is time that I told you everything,” he said.

Those words scared her a bit, but she swallowed that lump in her throat. Whatever Hunter was about to tell her, she was certain that whatever shell he used to have was gone.   


 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE. I will actually finish this now. It will be like 60% canon, but a good alternative for the scenes that we missed over the summer between seasons. I will be following my original outlines for this story, which are mostly canon compliant. 
> 
> Also, I have no idea how weed works, but I did my best muahaha. 
> 
>  
> 
> Note: This is the first chapter released after season 3.

**DLM XVII**

"My plea deal was rejected," Hunter said plainly. Or at least he tried to. Hearing one's own voice was always tricky business as one's ears cared little for the spoken sounds that the brain already knew. But, if he listened closely, he could hear the crack of his voice and feel a quiver on his lips. He was probably crying if he had to guess - a quick stroke of his hand on his cheek confirmed that suspicion.

He was bawling.

He didn't feel any shame in that. Yael had already seen him at his worst, why not this? Crying was a healthy, natural coping mechanism, and it was a far better method of releasing his hopelessness than fits of anger.

Yael just nodded and placed a supportive hand on his shoulder, and he fell into her arms. She didn't flinch away, and instead pulled him in closer. It was all he really needed. He had learned last semester that a hug could do the world for him, and whenever he felt sad or angry he wished someone would give him one. Normally, he would be too proud to seek it, but this… he really needed it.

Hunter sought what comfort he could in the embrace until he found the will to speak. "My trial is in a few weeks. I just… I'm afraid. Everything I do until then will be under extra scrutiny. I can feel myself, barely being in control, and if I mess up again…"

"You won't," Yael said. "I believe in you."

Hunter chuckled, and only then was he aware of the mucus that clogged his sinuses. He sniffled and reached into Miles' backpack, hoping to find a stray napkin for tissue - and his heart jolted as he felt the weed.

"No. No, no," he mumbled as he pulled the weed out and dropped it to the floor. "If I get caught with this, I'll go to juvie for sure. I…"

Yael silenced him with a finger to lips. "Shhh, everything will be fine," she said, and then pulled away to approach the paper towel dispenser to retrieve him something to clear his nose with.

Hunter took the offer tentatively, and tried to clear his nose as quietly as possible. Last semester, he wouldn't have thought twice about it. Now, they had something going on and doing something as simple as blowing his nose seemed private and gross. Yael didn't seemed disturbed and only waited for him to finish.

"Do you feel better now?"

"Not really," Hunter mumbled, though at least he could breathe.

"What can I do to convince you that you won't be sent to juvie?"

"Ha, nothing."

A devious smile lit Yael's face. "Are you really so certain?"

"What's the point in hoping otherwise? The worst always happens."

"You know that's not true, logically. You were always the one who liked to argue with logic against Vijay, remember?"

"Logic won't keep me out of juvie?" Hunter said, half a chuckle on his lips. "I could just as easily argue that logic dictates that I will go to juvie."

"You could," Yael agreed as she leaned down to pick up the weed. "If you are so sure that you are going to go to juvie, how about we do something where you would actually deserve it."

Hunter felt his eyes widened, though he couldn't fight the smile from spreading on his lips. "You serious?"

"Aren't I always?" She didn't wait for the answer as she reached into the bag. "There are a few joints in here, and a lighter."

Hunter gave an uneasy shake of his head. "Do you even know how to, uh, smoke it?"

"Not at all," Yael admitted. "Light it and put it in our mouths I guess."

She went first and Hunter followed her lead. It was a weird experience, and he didn't feel anything for a long while. Some coughing and gagging, but for a long while nothing that made he feel high. When he did, he had already settled on not caring, which was a fair side effect if what he knew from Miles was any indication. He was… chill. Yael really was a smart girl.

"Was that your plan?" Hunter asked. His voice came out as more of a laugh than he intended. "To get me too high to cry."

Yael snorted. "Was that supposed to rhyme?"

"No…? You know, we're sitting on the bathroom floor?" Hunter wondered, though wasn't bothered enough to stand up.

"I'm okay with that, if you're okay now."

"That doesn't logically follow."

"Shush. That doesn't make sense anyway. As long as you are willing to give yourself a break, I am happy sitting on this floor."

"I guess you have distracted me for a little while."

"I can distract you more," Yael said quietly, scooting closer.

"How so?" Hunter asked nonchalantly. Then a scary thought hit him as every bad first date story he heard from Miles rushed through his mind. His heart was beating wildly as Yael spoke, time slowed by fear or weed he couldn't tell.

"What are we?" Yael asked in barely a whisper.

Hunter exhaled a sigh of relief. A scary question any other day, but for a moment he thought this was about to go somewhere he wasn't ready for. But talking. Talking is exactly what he wanted.

"I'm not sure," Hunter said honestly. "I like you. Like a lot. You make me talk more than anyone I have ever met. I, just… thanks for being there for me this semester. You made everything so much easier."

Yael reached over to grab his hand.

"Can I ask you something?" Hunter asked.

"It's only fair," Yael said, though Hunter could tell she was playing with him. She didn't mind at all.

"Why?"

"Why, what?"

"Do you have to ask?" He chuckled out loud as he realized that those were there words now. He'd blame the weed if anyone found out. "Why do you like me? I'm just… well, me."

"I just do. You're my best friend. I like you. What else is there?"

"I like you too."

Yael smiled. "So that's what we are. People who like each other." She sounded almost sad.

Hunter tightened his hand around hers. "Look, I know it's been only a few hours since we kissed, but, I would like to think we are something more. Something more than friends."

"Like boyfriend and girlfriend?"

"Yeah, I think so," Hunter admitted. His face was hot, but he barely noticed. "But I don't want to rush things. Everyone around us is freaking out over their loved ones. Like Miles. A part of me thinks I just want someone to care about, and I don't want to rush things at a bad time, you know."

"I understand," Yael said. "The thought crossed my mind. When I heard about the crash, my thoughts went to you and you weren't even on the bus."

Hunter shuddered. "If I lost you, I…"

"I know. That's why I think we aren't rushing things. If it weren't for… you know, last year and your freak out, we would be dating already."

"We would?" Hunter rubbed his hand over his heated face to hide his blush, and was suddenly aware of the slight scruff that had started to collect all week. He had never felt self conscious in front of Yael until now… "You're right," he said. "It is too late to go back to how things were. We are too close now. We'll just see where things go from here. What we have is special… not that I believe in soul mates or anything like that…"

"You're rambling," Yael interrupted.

"Sorry."

"It's cute. I'm happy I make you want to talk so much. And don't blush, it's just the two of us." Yael reached her hand over to touch his shirt. "Now how about you change out of that shirt like you intended to. It covered in tears?"

Hunter blushed as he looked down to find the wet marks. "Yeah, probably best to do that before we head out."

He retrieved the shirt from the bag and took his wet one off. For a moment that stretched on for ever, he realized he was shirtless around his crush - no, girlfriend - for the first time, and he put on his new one in a speed he could never hope to repeat. God, he had never felt so embarrassed. His body wasn't one to be proud of, but at least with a shirt on it didn't matter.

Yael didn't think anything of it, not even turning away. He shouldn't have expected her to. She always wanted to be one of the guys, and being asked to turn around for a simple change of shirt would be taken as an insult she would make him regret.

"So, I guess we should head back?" Hunter asked.

"We should give the weed more time to fade?" Yael replied.

"You're right. Flush the rest?"

"Sounds about right," Yael said as she entered the nearest stall and dumped the contraband. She rubbed her hands together with accomplishment as she left. "Done. Now I need to wash my hands. Boy bathroom germs," she said with exaggeration.

Hunter laughed. "So what now?" he asked as she washed her hands. "I don't know how long it takes for weed to fade."

"Me either," Yael said offhandedly. "In the meantime, we can make out."

Hunter froze. "You're serious? Of course you're serious, you're always serious. I guess we could. I, um…"

Yael silenced him as she put her lips on his. They kissed, mouth exploring each other's in ways that neither of them really knew how. Hunter would feel bad that he didn't know where to put his hand if Yael hadn't nearly busted his lip, instead he accepted that neither of them knew what they were doing and just put his hands on her in the most PG way as possible.

He was enjoying this too much and pulled away in fear that she was enjoying this too. "We should stop," he said.

Yael was quiet.

"Look, I may likely go to juvie. I'm not passed that yet. And I really like you. If you like me as much as I do you… I don't want you to have to lose me."

"We've already been over this Hunter."

"But…"

Yael silenced him. "I'd rather have what we have now. It won't help you to assume that you are going to juvie. You have to live as if you won't. We can be like normal teens. We can kiss, we can hang out, we can have sex. We can do whatever we want, because we can't live as if you are already gone."

Hunter chuckled nervously.

"Sorry," Yael said with a blush. "I didn't mean to imply we were normal at all."

"That's the part you were embarrassed about?" Hunter asked. He shook his head, a smile on his face. "That's why I like you. You are anything but normal."

Yael sighed happily. "You are the first guy who has ever wanted me, and I have never felt much of anything for guys at all. I just want us to have our time."

Hunter pulled her hand into his. "I would like that too. Are you ready to head back?"

Yael nodded, and they walked back hand in hand.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is trash.
> 
> I am trash.
> 
> *sponge bob and patrick voice* we're all trash.

**DLM XVIII**

Things were quieting down, and Miles wanted to get a moment of shut eye while everyone around him was situated and safe. His mind denied him of his wish. His thoughts wouldn't stop wandering to Tristan, and it was utterly painful. His eyes would close for a moment and his imagination would get worse every time, and he would sputter awake with a sharp pain shooting through his head. The images were worse. Tristan, bent and torn; Tristan, covered in blood and the tell-tale signs of death.

His eyes popped open again, not even aware that he had tried to fall asleep again, only to be welcomed by the vicious white of the fluorescent lights above. Nothing had changed except for the fact that there were slightly less people in the room, names and faces he couldn't pretend to care about. Everyone he knew was still room. Frankie and Jonah, a few seats over, and Frankie's friends, Shay and Lola, sat around with a fortitude that managed to impress him. Zoë was next to him, looking concerned.

"I'm fine," Miles said. His words seemed to do little to assuage her fears.

Her huff of dissatisfaction confirmed that. "I saw you jolt awake. Nightmares?"

"Not exactly," Miles replied. "But not far off either."

"You should… you can get out of here if you want," Zoë suggested. She held her hands up to hold off a retort. "I know you want to be here for everyone, and I don't blame you, but you are no good to anyone like this. You look like you are about to drop dead here and now. It is almost painful to watch."

Miles snorted. "What is painful is not knowing if your boyfriend is okay."

Zoë sighed. "I thought you would say that. But you really should rest, and this room, these lights, aren't going to help. The atmosphere is oppressive… like, I can feel the sadness ripping into me in a way that makes the pain all the worse."

"It's not the room that does that, it's life."

"Tell me about it," Zoë said, then groaned in resignation. "So, you won't get a nap in, will you?"

"I wouldn't, even if I could. If Tristan woke up while I was sleeping, I'd never forgive myself. You know that."

"I don't suppose I would either. Nothing ever works out," Zoë growled. She shook her head with an angry sigh. "Life dangles love and happiness in front of you before snatching it away."

"You're telling me," Miles grumbled.

"I am," Zoë agreed. "I just need to know if she is okay, so I can tell her… so I…" Her voice began to break, but she resisted the urge to cry.

"I'm sure she will be okay," Miles said as he put a hand on her arm in comfort. "They'll be okay and we can finally tell them everything that they needed to hear."

"He knew," Zoë said. "Don't worry. He knew."

Miles nodded as he sucked a breath in through his nose. "I want to believe that."

* * *

"Let's move," Frankie whispered to Jonah as she stood up, pulling him with her. "There are two seats next to them now."

She had been watching the seating around Shay and Lola for a while now, and after a few shuffles, they were finally clear. But now she had to rush; she was not going to let some strangers take those seats from her. Her friends needed her, maybe. Regardless, she needed to be there for them in a way she had been failing for too long. A small part of her had been putting it off - she was selfish, she knew that - but now it was time. She turned back towards Miles as she and Jonah walked hand in hand to her friends to make sure that he was okay. Miles was talking to Zoë so he should be in good hands, and worst case, she was still in the room.

Her heart beat softly as she approached, mentally preparing herself for this talk. She wasn't good at stress, and perhaps that was part of the reason she was so quick to head off with Jonah. But she wanted to be the better Frankie, the girl who learned how to be better after a semester of selfishness. Her heart was roaring to tell her friends about what she had found with Jonah, but it was the wrong time for that. Tiny was their concern for now, and all the other friends who were suffering today.

"Hey guys," Frankie said as she took a seat next to Lola. Jonah sat down next to her and shifted awkwardly. No surprise really, having to sit in on girl talk - no, she had to take her thoughts off of Jonah for just a moment.

Her friends looked up to her with dead eyes.

"No news," Shay said in that voice of hers that was devoid of emotion. Frankie knew that it meant that she was sad. If she tried, she could likely hear the sound of held back tears.

Frankie to Lola who sat between them and lacked entirely her normal peppy demeanor. "Miles and Hunter are all settled, or as best as he can be. Tristan is one of the ones we haven't heard about… just know, that I am here for you no matter what."

Lola collapsed into Frankie's arms. "Don't ever leave me again. This semester was hard enough without you." Frankie melted into the hug. She didn't know what to say, but being a body to comfort her friend was something that she was more than capable of doing.

They stayed like that for a while before Shay sighed.

"What's wrong?" Frankie asked.

"My mom won't stop texting. She says I have to come home." Shay shook her head. "I won't leave him."

Frankie looked at Shay who was flexing her hand around her phone angrily. Shay was always uptight, something that everyone knew about her, but Frankie knew it wasn't true, at least not in a bad way. She was fierce and strong and supportive, a behavior taught into her by her parents. Parents she loved and respected very much. A way that often manifested in fear that she would disappoint them.

Frankie gulped. "You didn't tell them about Tiny yet, did you?"

"How could I? I didn't have time to even process telling them - we aren't even official - and last time I couldn't get past what Tiny used to be and introduce him."

Frankie reached out to Shay and pulled her close - Lola let out a huff as her body was pressed between the two of them - and pulled her two friends into a group hug. "Tiny IS a great guy," Frankie corrected. "It doesn't matter what he was, but what he is now and what he will be. He's smarter than all of us, and wants to be a marine biologist. What is there not to like?"

"It's just not that simple," Shay murmured. There was an edge in her voice, but she was too tired to be truly upset. "You don't know my parents. They'll never let me date a…"

"A great guy?" Frankie asked. "Have you even tried?"

"No… I don't want to risk it. I like the hope that they will accept him one day, rather than shutting it down now."

"Well, are you staying the night?" Frankie asked, hoping to force a decision.

"I want to, but…"

"Stay," Lola spoke up. Her voice was strong and left little room for argument, though it quivered as she spoke again. "Tiny deserves to have someone that loves him waiting on him."

Shay nodded and pulled away. "I'll call my mom."

Frankie continued to hold Lola who was trembling slightly, but holding herself together. "It'll be okay Lol. Tiny will be okay."

Lola turned to watch Shay as she nodded furiously into the phone.

"Yes, yes. Okay. Mom… Thank you thank you. I'll let you know first thing… You too."

"So things worked out?" Frankie asked.

"I think so, for now," Shay said with a faint smile. "Lol? You okay?"

Lola sniffled. "I'm just happy for you. And jealous," she admitted.

Shay sighed. "I'm sorry. I know you liked Tiny, but… things happen."

Lola shook her head. "Not that. I just wish I had someone who was worried about me."

And then everything clicked for Frankie - and Shay too if Frankie had to guess - as they both pulled Lola into a hug. There was nothing to say to the girl whose mother left and her father was too busy to notice she didn't come to work that night. But she had her friends, and Jonah too as Frankie pulled him in.

Not for the first time that day, Frankie noticed something important: if they were all together, they would make it though.

* * *

Miles watched Frankie's group with curiosity. It looked like tensions had risen for a while, but died down into a loving group hug. He felt a twinge of jealousy that she had such a strong group of friends, but he was more happy than anything. He had Zoë at least, and she wasn't half bad these days. Winston had gone home for his parents, and Tristan…

Miles checked his phone to distract himself. 11pm. Where was Hunter? The thought was like a summons as his little brother walked back into the room, hand in hand with Yael.

"Looking cute," Miles teased as they drew near.

Hunter shrugged as they took a seat next to him and Zoë.

"You flushed it?"

"More or less," Hunter said.

Miles frowned. Hunter was being weird, and leaning in confirmed his suspicion. Hunter smelled distinctly, if mildly, of weed. "Flushed… right."

"Might as well get some use out of it. Stressful day, and I'm not the addict," Hunter said with a wink.

"Well, I'm glad at least someone could get some stress relief"

"As soon as Tristan's out, you'll have your stress relief," Hunter chuckled.

Miles blinked. "No more weed for you. Ever."

"Just trying to cheer you up. It's better than being mopey."

Miles looked at Hunter and then over to Yael. "Two can play this game. I-"

His words were cut off as Zoë grabbed his arm. "Miles! Look!" she said, pointing over to the doors of fate - the door that hid the truth of their loved ones.

"Is it him?" Miles said. He was already on his feet and ready to speed over.

Zoë shook her head. "Those are his parents."

That was all Miles needed to convince him to stand and cross the room in a flash. He could faintly hear Zoë's steps behind him.

"Is he okay?" Miles asked without preamble.

The woman - Tristan's mother? - looked at him like he was insane. "Who are you?" She didn't sound friendly.

Miles frowned. That was not how he expected this to go, or his first meeting with his boyfriend's parents.

"I'm… uh, Miles," he said tentatively. Did Tristan mention him? Did he mention that they got back together? The thoughts hit him like a whirlwind of anxiety as he realized that the love he and Tristan had was so new and that they barely got to experience any of it before he… "Is Tristan alright?"

"That's not really any of your business," Tristan's mother said.

Miles frowned. This wasn't going well…

"Sharon, no need to take out your anger on this young man. It wasn't like he was the one who let Tristan run for school president."

Miles winced at Tristan's father's words. They may have benefited him, but from the rage on his wife's face, things were about to get nasty.

"How dare you! I…"

Zoë pulled Miles away. "Don't listen to them. They do this all the time according to Tristan."

"I… I…" Miles was in shock. How did he not know that Tristan's parents were like this. Was he that bad of a boyfriend?

"Don't beat yourself up," Zoë said. "He kept it from me for a long time too."

"I need to know," Miles said. Fear about what he and Tristan had and didn't have could wait for later. "I have to know if he is okay. Arguing parents won't stop me, I…"

He felt a grip on his shoulder that stopped him from speaking. Miles turned around to see a buff man that he did not recognize.

"Come with me," the man said. "They don't care enough about Tristan to let him have guests, but I do. You're Miles, right?"

Miles nodded numbly as he and Zoë followed the man, noting instructions to avoid the gaze of Tristan's arguing parents as they snuck by. Miles' thoughts were racing a mile a minute as they were dragged down the hallway. Who was this? How did he know Tristan?

"Owen, I think," Zoë said. "We've not met, but I've seen pictures. He and Tristan are close-ish. They don't talk much, but they care about each other."

Miles nodded mutely. They were so close. So close…

And then they were in the hospital room. Tristan was there, alive and breathing. He was attached to a machine and had a tube in his mouth with half of his hair missing, but he was alive. Miles fell to his knees and Zoë fell down with him, and just for a moment, they knew everything would be okay.

* * *

Tristan was alive. That was something. It was relief. The nightmares dancing in his mind had passed, his heart beat felt warm, and traces of happiness didn't elude him.

Their seats were still empty when they returned to the waiting room, most people were asleep or halfway there, and as Miles sat down he felt that he could finally join them.

He threw one last look at his siblings to make sure that they were okay, knowing it was ironic because they were only there for him. A good family at last.

He smiled to himself and closed his eyes, ready to find Tristan in his dreams.


End file.
